Ms Fifikins

Don’t run away! Stay and read. You know you always learn something you really didn’t need to know from all these memes and this is one with a difference, so there! For one, I’m not going to tag you, you are going to ask to participate, and that is more of a directive than anything else (vee have vayz ov mekking you meme…)

1. Leave me a comment saying anything random, like your favorite lyric to your current favorite song. Or your favorite kind of sandwich. Something random. Whatever you like.
2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be asked, you will ask them five questions.

The lovely Pink Soprano interviewed me. Make sure you check out her blog, it is more than worth it (and note to self, update your blog roll Ms Fifikins!)

1) Where would be your ultimate holiday destination?

Now as much as I adore the tropics, I do miss seasonality so Winter somewhere freezing with lots of snow appeals. Scotland or Canada in January appeals, but more realistically might have to settle for Canberra in July! I suppose holidays have a notion of being relaxing and the like so perhaps even spending some time in a cabin in the middle of a rainforrest would do me. Actually, around now that sounds like bliss!

Now if we are talking travel though, India, Africa and South America are on the list. Finding a way to travel, holiday and earn money (with 2 kids in tow!) is the logistical exercise that needs working through.

2) If your life was made into a movie, what genre would it be, and would would it be called?

It would have to be a comedy. I am not adverse to a bit of period drama or action either. Now I have ideas of a period drama comedy action superhero movie with a female lead character who saves the day with her wit and charm and has male sidekick who is as smart and funny as she is (hi MIML™) set in Jane Austen’s England. Now everyone would have to have toffy accents too and lines from it would be quoted for generations to come. No idea what it would be called- perhaps ‘Fifikins’ is enough!

Either that or a porno… (Hi Mum )

3) If you were hosting the cocktail party to end all cocktail parties, which five people living, dead or fictional would you absolutely have to have on the guest list, and why?

1. Miss Elizabeth Bennett. I suppose that’s two birds with one stone as she would give more insight into Jane Austen too! Was Jane the feminist of her day that we like to see her has now?
2. The Doctor. Which one? Well it wouldn’t really matter, but I want to ask The Doctor when he will regenerate into a woman and if that is actually possible (theme here?)
3. The gorgeous Nigella, just so I could cook for her.
4. Henry Giroux who is one of my pedagogical heroes.
5. And we would need some music- possibly John Coltrane for some Jazz.

4) If you were stranded on a desert island, what would your five essential supplies be?

1. Some company. (Hey MIML™, you interested being stranded with me for a bit?)
2. My Macbook, power, wireless internet etc. No need for a phone or iPod then.
3. Some nail polish as I think I would have time to paint my toenails which desperately need doing at the moment!
4. Perhaps a cookbook or two, or my favourite knives or something.
5. Bombay Gin (with tonic, lemon and ice cubes- naturally!)

5) If you could live your life in fluffy slippers or beautiful designer heels, which would you choose?

I hate shoes! I would much rather run around in bare feet. I think I would probably lean towards the fluffy slippers though, purely for comfort factor. Although a nice pair of heels does it to me and if it was that cocktail party that was leading me to be stranded on a desert island (or in a rainforest!) making a porno about my life…

So get to it folks! I want comments and I want them now! I am already thinking up lots of questions to ask you all…

We never ‘did’ Mother’s Day as a child. My father’s line was ‘Every day is Mother’s Day.’ We never did Father’s Day either.

For the 5 years I spent battling infertility I avoided Mother’s Day like the plague. Told myself it was over commercial.

Then I became a mother. My mum sent me flowers the first year and has most years since. When the kids started school they were given money (usually by me!) for the Mother’s Day Stall and I have received some beautiful things over the years. Today is no exception- a smelly tea light candle in a mirror backed holder with flowers on it and a teddy holding a heart upside down. I got a text from my Mum who is overseas. Immy made Banana Buttermilk pancakes for lunch (Japs had footy at 8.30 so breakfast was out of the question!) and the kids perhaps argued less.

I am back in electrical at work and have had lots of people in buyng gifts for mum. If I am ever given an epilator or an iron for Mother’s Day I think I will hit you over the head with the said item. Yes, it is commercial, but it is nice to be remembered as a mum. Isildae summed it up well. I have been so well supported by the ‘motherhood network’ for the last 11 Mother’s Days.

But still, part of me is sad on Mother’s Day. Sad for those yearning to be mothers or fathers or grandparents even. Infertility sucks big time.  Commercialising days and putting motherhood on a pedestal is hard to cope with when it is something you are trying to achieve.
So to Imogen and Jasper, I love you so much and am glad you have made me a mother. I know I am trying and at times am a crap mother. I think Jasper summed it up well this evening: “Mummy, I know you love me even when you yell at me.” Out of the mouths of babes!

I find it hard to believe there are so many random facts about myself! I was white rabbited about a month ago, plus I have published 100 random facts about fifikins, but everyone’s favourite professional geek, Nick Hodge seems to think I can come up with 8 more! And I was told off for not tagging certain people, I can now get them!

1. I have an aversion to mice and rats, but I am not sure why. I remember living in Meningie and having to feed the 50 odd birds that we were forced to look after. There were mice in the grain sacks and I often caught one in the jug I was using to feed the birds. I suspect it is a silly aversion and one I might be able to get over.
2. I really loved pregnancy and childbirth. I had large children (Jasper was 10lb 14 oz- 4.934kg) and pushed them out easily. Sometimes I think another baby would be nice, but not very often as I then remember the terrible 2s, the sleepless nights and the thought of another pending teenager. I think that I could easily be swayed either way if I were to meet someone who did or didn’t want kids.
3. I was 99% certain Imogen was going to be a girl. I never doubted she wouldn’t have been. We didn’t really have a name for a boy picked out even. With Jasper I had no feelings one way or the other.
4. I studied English Literature in Year 12. Our Shakespeare was Antony and Cleopatra. I hardly remember any of it, but I remember quite a few of the poems we had to analyse especially Lowell’s Memories of West Street and Lepke and Dickinson’s Because I could not stop for death. I don’t know if I understood any of the poems back then, but love going back to them now. Same cannot be said for the symphonies I had to analyse in Music B!
5. In Year 9 we did Dancing Classes on Wednesday nights with the year 10 boys from our brother school. There were always more girls than boys and I spent most of the evenings pretneding to be a boy and dancing with other girls. It made me hate my height for a very long time.
6. I collect cookbooks. I think I have over 200. Some I have never cooked from, but I like to pretend they inspire me. I would like to undertake a ‘cook a whole cookbook’ project and blog it, but still can’t choose which book to do.
7. I am the first person in my family to go to uni. This surprises me as I see so many of them being smart. Mum did a term or so at Kindergarten Teacher’s College but didn’t like it and Dad never thought about further education. My brother achieved his HSC but is not academically minded, even if he has other smarts (Cricket and Aussie Rules fact legend!)
8. I always thought I would be cremated, but now think the environmental impact of cremation is too great. I’d love to be buried deep in the rainforest, but also hope that it isn’t for many years yet.

Now to find 8 suckers friends who I know would love to take part in this!

So… Romper stomper bomper boo, tell me tell me tell me, do, magic mirror tell me today, have all my friends had fun at play? I can see:

Extremo

Lozzz

Mark

Spidy

Grace

monnie

Martin

Wibble

So you lucky 8, it’s up to you! If you don’t know the drill, you tell us 8 random facts about yourself and then tag 8 lucky people. Make sure you let them know they have been tagged too. In a month you will have enough facts to be erudite at dinner parties. Don’t break the chain or you will have ‘Achy Breaky Heart’ rickrolling through your memory for eternity. I have warned you!

(Oh and I don’t know if I can think of any more real facts so if this comes back to me in a month I’m just gonna write a load of tales- which may be what I have done already )

I started a blog post today and have just deleted it all.

Basically, today is 18 years since my Dad died. He went SCUBA diving on Easter (Holy) Saturday and drowned. I still don’t understand how it happened, but it did. I have now been alive longer without Dad than with him. We had an interesting relationship, but I know he loved me and deep down thought he was was doing the best job he could as a father. He probably was too.

I look at Mum who has been alone for most of these 18 years, well at least the last 15. I think I used to worry about loneliness and being alone, but really I just have to look at Mum and her full life and realise that as long as I have friends around me I’ll be fine.

RIP Patrick John Christian Henderson. 9th Jan 1939 – 14th April 1990. I do miss you Dad.

I think I must be feeling better- I am thinking about food again!

Just home after 3 nights in hospital. First two days were horrible. Constant pain, prodding and felt like blah. Felt a little better yesterday and feel really quite good today.

Things to remember when in hospital though:

• Pack all chargers. Fortunately I had mine with me. Don’t know where I would have been without my phone charger.
• Get friendly with the nursing staff, especially nursing students! They keep you in on the gossip. They still couldn’t give me the passwords to the wireless networks in the hospital though
•  Don’t say no to pain relief! Worked out I didn’t need to be a hero wrt pain! Doh!
• Make sure you own plenty of pyjamas! My 2 pairs of pink ones really got a workout!

Oh and finally, get friendly with the nursing students, but don’t let them talk to your doctor! One of them told him my bed was empty yesterday when I was in the shower, which he took to mean I had gone home. I mean really! It wasn’t until I pulled another cannula out this morning that one of the nurses rang him to ask if I still needed it.

Supposedly back to work on Tuesday, but I am thinking of taking a few more days off to do some thesis work. Will ask my doc on Monday when we chat what sort of medical certificate he is willing to give me!

But it’s good to be home! I’m twittering again and on my IM channels! Talk to you all soon, I hope (And, yes that does mean I am talking again!)

Fifikins 0

Hospital 2

Well kinda. I’m heading back there. Turns out I have a post op infection and am dehydrated. Just pour the gin straight in I said, but no, they want it via a drip.

I will be booked in under Corker, not Henderson for those sending flowers, telegrams, chocolates etc! (joke peoples!) But I will have a phone next to my bed and a direct number which I don’t know what it will be, but if you ring the switch bitch receptionist, they will put you through if you ask for Fiona Corker. No doubt they will make some wise crack about it being a corker surname- just remembered they were doing that in theatre before they put me under and I never got to blast them!

Yet another early morning blog post.

When I went for my pre-admission appointment they gave me a brochure on coping with pain after surgery. It goes through different pain management strategies looking at various types of drugs, repositioning of the patient and distraction. I think what I am trying here is a distraction.

I woke up about 10 minutes ago in the most excruciating pain yet. I felt like my throat was on fire. I mean I took an endone when I went to bed 5 hours ago. Now I have taken some more panadeine forte and had a throat gargle.

People have been comparing my pain to childbirth. Usually men that is. I suppose I was fortunate to have beautiful labours. With Jasper, I relied on gas, running water down my back and even though I asked for an epidural and never got it because he decided to come quickly, I remember the pain being intense, but not lasting for days. It was also a positive pain in that I knew I would be holing a baby. Even with a few stitches afterwards (pushing out a 10lb 14 oz baby in a 7 minute second stage will do that apparently) it was a bearable pain.

I suppose I just have to look at this as a positive pain. The pus filled tonsils are gone for good. Having that pus in my body for over 7 months cannot have been doing me any good. I will be so much better off without it. I have been told the pain lasts for up to 6 weeks. I suppose that is not too much to ask for after 7 months of chronic tonsillitis. And I can never have it done again, right? (Actually don’t answer that as the first question my ENT asked me when I first saw him was ‘Have you had them out before?’)

So now I will try and sleep for the next few hours. The meds have kicked in. In the morning I will make an appointment with my GP as I am now shit scared I will run out of meds early in the week and somehow panadol alone doesn’t seem to cut it.

If you are reading this then I have obviously survived my operation!

Actually it is 4.30am and I have been awake for over half an hour. Well I did hit the wall at 8 last night and took a strong pain killer to knock me out. Suppose 8 hours sleep is pretty good, even if I did wake up 3 times in that time.

Now random recollections from the operation and hospital stay:

• People may have joked about the hospital gown that opened at the back, an yes I was expecting that, but I was not expecting to be made to wear hospital bloomers made of paper too! And no, I did not get a photo!
• It really is the eeriest feeling lying on a bed being wheeled down a corridor. Perhaps I have watched too many medical dramas, but still I kept wondering what soundtrack should have been playing.
• I never listen to commercial radio. When I was in the holding bay waiting to go into theater, they had one of the local radio stations on. Apart from the crap music they were playing, almost every ad break they had an ad for sexual enhancement therapies! Spam through your radio.
• When I was waiting in the holding bay, I lay there and practiced the deep breathing I was taught when I had those panic attacks a few years back. Seemed to help, surprisingly enough! Oh and I also tried to focus on an image of someone’s fingers- you know who you are!
• When I met the anaesthetist we traded some gags- had the nurse laughing. But I did make him promise to wake me up. He told me I was the first person in a very long time to ask that, but he would ensure I did.
• As soon as they woke me up in recovery I was as high as a kite. I would not stop rambling and apparently told every nurse who came near me that I loved talking and could talk underwater with a mouth full of marbles! I remember my random phrases from this high time “OMG! I survived, I really am alive!” “This doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would.” “Wow, I can talk, did you know my daughter thought you were going to take my voice box out?” “Can you pass me my phone please, because I really want to tweet this!” Yes, even in recovery I was wanting to twitter!
• I crashed as soon as I hit the ward. It might have had something to do with more pethidine! I think I was trying to be stoic about the pain. At one stage I said that pain was a 7/10, but I suspect when the nurse made me sip some water and it made me cry, they realised I was not exactly telling the whole story. It did mean lots of pethidine though.
• The kept me on oxygen and a drip all night. Originally I was told I would be heading home around 9am, but when the doctor rang they told him I was still in lots of pain so they made me stay until after lunch. At around noon they unhooked me from the oxygen and told me they didn’t know why I was still on it!

I have been inundated with messages, texts and the like for the last few days and thank everyone for their care, concern and support. Now if only all the virtual flowers on facebook would translate to real arrangements next to my bed (and that is a joke peoples!)

I have about 10 minutes before I leave for the hospital.

Yes, I am rather nervous, but trying to tell myself that all will be well.

My iPod is choc full of music- from the sublime to the ridiculous! Should be able to therapise (is that a word) to some of it.

Apart from the anaesthetic part, I am scared of the pain. Will take the drugs they offer! Might make for some interesting twitters or smss or something tonight!

Hope to be home tomorrow…

It’s funny, the other night I started a ‘100 random fact page’ that is up to about number 76 so far! Now today, the gorgeous Alegrya (need to update my blog roll!) hit me with a White Rabbit so in the spirit of sharing I’m going to play along.

The rules:
1- Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
2 – People who are tagged need to write a post on their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules.
3 – At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4 – Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

8 Random Things:

1. I am actually a fairly accomplished violinist. I did 7th grade AMEB in year 11 and then year 12 Music A (prac). I never did well in exams because I hated practicing technical studies- comments usually focussed on how good my pieces were despite my poor scales/technical work. Now I actually find scales soothing and almost meditative. Not that I have opened my violin case in a number of years!
2. My father was born in Lahore when it was still part of India. His father was in the Royal Army. I never found out until quite recently that my grandmother was pregnant when they got married. My father had very traditional views about sex before marriage and discovering this made me smile. My Dad died on Easter Saturday when I was doing year 12. He drowned whilst SCUBA Diving. I have been alive more without him than with him.
3. I have no cousins. My mother was an only child and my Aunt has never been able to have children. My Aunt and Uncle are a very devoted couple. I have only met them a few times, but I love them dearly. I would love to find someone with whom I could share that same devotion, even though I doubt I will marry again.
4. Between 19 and 23 I was in 4 car accidents, 3 of which were my fault! Once I spun out on a dirt road and landed slap bang between two huge trees. Some people thought it was miraculous. I just blame luck- good or bad as you may see fit! I have not had an accident since then.
5. I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). This means that I don’t ovulate regularly because my hormones are out of whack, am Insulin Resistant and am technically infertile. I prefer to see it as subfertile as I did manage to conceive two gorgeous children after a lot of fertility treatment. Oh and I am prone to gaining or holding weight. Sigh.
6. I get pedantic about spelling, grammar and punctuation, but I still get things wrong! It really pisses me off when I find out I have made a mistake, but I am getting better at admitting to them.
7. I have been a member of Amnesty International for over 20 years. I am not as active as I used to be and want to get back into the letter writing campaigns. I am passionate about human rights and absolutely loathe injustice.
8. Until about 3 years ago I hated being called ‘Fi.’ Now I introduce myself as Fi all the time.

I’m tagging:

• Isildae
• Tess
• Ilana
• Griffmiester
• Kensington Victoria
• Devylgirl
• Ian Kath
• Warlach