Ms Fifikins

(Yes, the original pre-Monty Python and yes, it is Tim Brooke-Taylor from The Goodies!)

Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but it can also be distorted. I grew up in a typically middle class family. We had enough, but perhaps not excess. We certainly didn’t live in a rolled up newspaper! Times are tough at present, however we are not ‘extremely poor’ as in the definition of poverty. Yes, I live from pay day to pay day and usually have to make arrangements to pay off bills over time. When unexpected bills arrive, I stress, but then I find a way of getting by.

I am fortunate to have the support of family who help out with the kids’ expenses. Whilst I can’t give them everything they want, I hope they will grow up thinking of what they had, rather than what they didn’t have.

I am always telling the kids we are rich in so many ways, and for fears of turning into a Yorkshireman, I can focus on what can be done for others to help ease their impoverishment.

For all my enmeshment in new media occasionally I like to get my hand on something analogue. My choice is often The Big Issue, partially because it is not sold up here and when I do get it I have time to sit and read it, but also because it is a micro-business designed to help people get back on their feet. Not only do I get a great read, but I am helping the vendor from whom I purchased the magazine.

The other way to help stop the spread of poverty is a topic very close to my heart- breastfeeding. If only people accepted that breastfeeding is the natural and normal way to feed a baby then so many issues could be addressed. Breastfeeding has a positive impact on the baby, the mother and the environment. It is the source of food designed for the baby. It changes to meet the needs of the baby and it is always sterile. It helps protect the mother against breast cancer and osteoporosis and saves her time and money. This is not only the money for purchasing artificial formula, equipment and paraphernalia, but also the health costs- breastfed babies have fewer illnesses and are less likely to develop chronic illnesses such as asthma and juvenile diabetes which cost the taxpayers money. And also for the environment- processing costs, packaging and fuel costs in production and preparation.

And the good news is that with education and support the majority of women can breastfeed, even those in malnourished parts of the world. By upholding the International Code of Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes (WHO Code) we can help promote that breastfeeding is the normal way to feed infants and the implications of not breastfeeding can lead to hardship. If you are pregnant, or know someone who is, tell them to attend a Breastfeeding Education Class in their area. If you are having troubles breastfeeding, ask for help. The simple act of breastfeeding your child can have an immense economic benefit. Just do it!

Yes from swearing cakes to dead ‘orses to boobs! This is a pretty good ad- well the message is one that needs to be heard anyway! It is a subject that is close to my heart and again I will say that all expectant parents need to go to a Breastfeeding Education Class. If you are in the Cairns area come to one of our ABA local group ones.

Today is the 99th International Women’s Day, or for some Womyn’s Day. So what have the last 99 years brought us? Yes women can vote in a lot of places now and more women are in the paid workforce than ever before, with employment rates amongst the 20-29 year old age group virtually equal for males and females (according to Triple J’s Hack last night.)Economically women are not equal to men, especially with regards to superannuation. There are still career paths that are traditionally male and female. I would love to see more male teachers, however the remuneration offered to teachers is not enticing. An experienced classroom teacher (10 years experience) will usually not earn more than around $70k/annum and that assumes they are taking on extra responsibility. Consider engineers where remuneration starts at the $100k/annum mark and increases considerably it is pretty much a no brainer, why would you become a teacher? But that is for another rant!

I have minimal superannuation. I spent 10 years as the unpaid slave Vicar’s Wife, yet did most of the administration, typing, publications etc. But then again rants against religious organisations are also for another day! I will need to do an extreme amount of salary sacrifice and get a high paid job in order to be able to retire comfortably and afford Bombay Sapphire over Vickers Gin. Perhaps I have weird worries about retirement…

But what is feminism? I grew up in a white middle class family where Mum stayed home and Dad worked. Mum did school runs and tuck-shop duty once a fortnight and Meals on Wheels every week and helped at church and ran her local Liberal Party branch and had dinner on the table every night at 6. She left school after her Leaving Certificate and went to Kindergarten Teacher’s College but didn’t like it so became a clerk at a stockbroking firm. She worked there until she was 6 months pregnant with me. She is also fortunate that she has never been in a financial position where she has had to work. Mum has always held very conservative views- politically, economically and socially. Whilst she was pleased I went to uni from school, and may have been a little dismayed at me marrying so young, she was please I ran away to join the circus church. One of my teenage memories is being dragged along to an ordination service at St Paul’s Cathedral in Melbourne where women were protesting at the doors for the right to be ordained. Mum was horrified at their actions and said their actions made her more against women’s ordination. She has since changed her views, and deep down I think believes in equality but also has trouble with the word feminist.

I suppose I class myself as a ‘born again feminist.’ I thought marrying young and having lots of kids and being the vicar’s wife and having a husband to support me would be way cool. Things don’t always turn out the way one plans! So what brand of feminism do I subscribe to? I support political, social and economic equality amongst the sexes. I don’t see this being achieved by women becoming like men so I do was my legs and various other parts of my anatomy. I wear skirts and fishnet stockings and shoes with small heels (I am too tall to wear stilettos I have decided, plus the pain!) I wear make up to work and wander past the fragrance counter each morning choosing a new scent. My hair is getting longer, even though it has been very short at various stages of my life! I don’t mind if a guy opens a door for me, but I don’t expect it, nor look for it. Now that I have reverted to my maiden name, even though this is proving very difficult to do in some areas until I get a decree nisi, I don’t think I will change it again, not that I am planning on marrying again, but I also wonder what is in a name. I would love to have taken my maternal grandfather’s name as it has now died out and he did so much for me, but it is just a name. I used to joke I had a corker surname…

I don’t want to be dependent on other people financially which means I work, but I also believe that women should be able to stay at home with their children should they choose and ways should be found to remunerate this work.

I am very pro choice when it comes to abortion, even though I don’t think I would be able to have one myself. Even though I had male obstetricians when I had the kids, this was because of perceived risks and I would have liked being able to have midwives and even contemplate a home birth. I am passionate about breastfeeding and educating and empowering all women to exclusively breastfeed for the first 6 months and continue breastfeeding until their child is 2 years old, as per the World Health Organisation guidelines. I don’t refer to menstruation as a ‘curse’ but don’t go around celebrating it either, no matter how revolting some periods can be!

I suppose that deep down I position myself as me. I value diversity, equality, social justice and human kindness. I think I am too left wing for my mother… I wonder how my kids will view feminism? I suppose all I can do is lead by example. In many ways this is what my mum did and even though we may have differing views, we have respect for one another. She is an amazing woman who has achieved so much- her career has been voluntary work, still doing Meals on Wheels, on the Australia Day council, working behind the scenes in politics, helping with the Geelong Footy Club, philanthropy beyond belief, a doting Nanny Fran to her two grandkids and a pretty cool mum.

Last night, for Immy’s birthday we went to see Circus Oz. It must be about the 5th Circus Oz performance I have seen live. My favourite part is the ‘Life is a Bikini Parade’ video which is at the top of this post. Rather fitting for Woemn’s Day don’t you think?

I have been having some weird dreams lately. Well weirder than usual. Work colleagues, Twitter friends and people from my childhood have all been featuring. I am wondering if I should start analysing these dreams or if it would be better to just speculate. Speculation seems like so much more fun.

So here is my dream decoder:

Catching the train home and getting off at Mooroolbark station with current colleagues and then going and making gourmet pizza at the local pizza bar. Obviously this means I like pizza. Perhaps I think my colleagues would be better suited as pizza chefs rather than visual merchandisers. Perhaps I have recently had a dodgy pizza and the toppings were not centered. Perhaps I need to have a pizza. Perhaps I need to move back to Melbourne… But I will not be living in Mooroolbark! (actually I have a desire to live in Murrumbeena so I can sing

Tall and tan and young and lovely
The girl from Murrumbeena goes walking
And when she passes, each one she passes goes – ah)

Next dream… I have an 8 month old baby but he lives with my ex who only allows me access every second weekend and Friday evenings (oh that sounds familiar!) and when I complain that the baby (who is not named) needs breastmilk and I point out to my ex that he cannot afford formula, and that I don’t want a drop of formula going near my baby’s digestive system he tells me that it is ok because he is feeding the baby tuna.

This is easy to interpret. Obviously I need to stop campaigning against advertising for breastmilk substitutes and start targeting canned fish manufacturers. Will make sure I let my ABA colleagues know that it is ex husbands supporting feeding of tuna to infants instead of breastmilk that needs to be targeted!

I am naked and there are ten men surrounding me all looking like a combination of Hugh Grant, Colin Firth and Orlando Bloom… Actually I haven’t had that dream but if it came tonight I wouldn’t complain and would probably just assume it meant that at least one of them was coming after me