Ms Fifikins

I have seen many bloggers of late promoting the value of fat acceptance (of which two have been linked here.) I am concerned, however that people are getting confused with body acceptance and healthy living.

I have read people of my shape and size (let’s just say I can’t buy clothes off the rack in most stores unless they cater for the size 16+ market) promoting the need to accept yourself for who you are. And I believe strongly in this too. I bemoan, however, those that then get angry with people wanting to change their body shape or size.

There is no doubt that obesity carries serious health risks. Having a waist measurement of over 85cm for women or 100cm for men is a good measurement to calculate certain health risks. BMI has been used for years, however this does not allow for different masses of muscle and fat.

I often say I am a work in progress. My thinking has been developing over the last few years and utilising skills learnt through CBT I can see things differently. I have been encouraged to change my thinking and mould my mind. I have now chosen to change my body. Yes, I accept that I should not be discriminated against because of my shape, I also accept why it is like it is and I am choosing to make changes. I do not want to have a heart attack before I am 50. I do not want to have to fight cancer.

Buying clothes in mainstream stores will be a small benefit of changing my shape. I am not doing this because of the way I look or the way I feel, although at times I hate getting puffed doing strenuous gardening, or jumping on the trampoline with my kids. I want to be able to climb mountains and run for 5km. I want to reduce health risks that would see me in an early grave.

And why am I like this? I do not have healthy eating habits. I over indulge and eat way too much. My portion sizes are too big. Matt Preston has realised this too. He has recognised that eating 11 servings of bone marrow risotto in one sitting is not healthy! Part of me wants to think that Network 10 executives have not banned him from using Jenny Craig as dieting such as this is not the way to prolonged weight loss on the whole, rather healthy eating and exercise.

As for me, I am going to track every mouthful. As much as I hate it, it is the only way I have found to keep myself accountable. I will keep up my exercise, perhaps adding in another cardio session each week for the time being. When things settle a bit more I will restart the Couch to 5K programme.

I am all for people being accepted no matter what their shape, size, skin colour or beliefs, however I am acknowledging that if I continue in the path I have been taking then my life will be shorter than it might be otherwise. My life is good and I want to be around for as long as possible. I may find that eating until I am full and exercising regularly will probably mean I am never going to fit into Levi jeans! When I was 16 and the smallest I have ever been, my thunder thighs even then prevented me from wearing lots of clothes!

I am a work in progress- body, mind and psyche. Watch this space!

April edibles

Originally uploaded by fifikins

An interesting month. Some good food memories and also a lot of reminders that I’m not eating very well at times. This is affecting both my health and my hip pocket! Let’s see what May brings…

February Edible365s

Originally uploaded by fifikins

Er… Yes, I know it is almost the end of March and it has taken me a long time to get this up, but still, better late than never! Plus it means I have gone back and re-tasted it all in my mind! Yum!

January

Originally uploaded by fifikins

Yes, this year’s project! I have eaten very well this month!

I am finding the difference between this project and the twitter365 project of last year is that this year I am taking more photos and finding it hard to choose which one to post at times!

I am home, but there may be another post about that! When we arrived I was very good- I unpacked and threw all clothes into the washing machine… well I have done 2 of 4 loads! I then placed all souvenirs on the Dining Room table to sort through. I then went and got some bread, milk and tonic water and the mail.

And I got an awesome surprise– a package all the way from Finland!

Way back when (I can now say last year as it has taken me a few days to get this post done with jetlag and all) I signed up for Blogging by Mail hosted by the lovely Stephanie at Dispensing Happiness. I bundled up a package for Napur and sent it to St Louis. My packaged arrived just after we left on our trip and comes from Eeva-Maija of SUKLAASYDÄN.

And I have been truly indulged! See:

The candles are just fantastic- look at the colours and how they are arranged- a taste of Finland! The mask will really help me unwind and I hope get over this damn jetlag. The sweets are yummy and I have had to wrestle them off the kids. Now the chocolate! Wow! When I signed up I said that it was not the best time of year to be sending chocolate, but I am so glad Eeva-Maija ignored my advice. There is something about Finnish chocolate!

Finally the tea! I am not sure if Eeva-Maija knew, but MIML™ and I adore our tea! When we were visiting his family he came across a pack of Finnish tea that he had brought back over 5 years ago from visiting friends in Finland. We made a pot and it was nice, but it had, er, aged! I so cannot wait to make a pot of this tomorrow for our brunch.

Thanks again to Eeva-Maija for the wonderful package, and to Stephanie for organising it. Roll on the next one!

Remember a bit over 12 months ago… Yeah, I know, I was more prolific then. And wittier. And funnier. And… no wait, was I? Now I am confused. Anyway, I took part in the Bloggest Loser Challenge. And hey, I didn’t do too badly. Well I lost a few kilos.

Then this year my weight has steadily crept up. If I am being honest, if I had lost as much weight as I have found since January I would be a happy camper indeed and would have reached a few of my mini goals.

Don’t get me wrong, I have been going hard at it at the gym. 3-4 times a week I visit doing at least an hour of weights with MIML™ on a Tuesday, half an hour of weights/circuit on a Thursday, an hour of boxing with MIML™ on Friday and an hour and a half class of circuit/boxing on Saturday.

In Hong Kong I invested in a Polar Heart Rate Monitor and have been using this at the gym all the time. And it would tell you that most weeks I burn over 2000 calories.

And my body has changed. Even through the fat I can see muscles and I can definitely feel them! My stamina is increasing. And I enjoy the exercise.

But my eating is another story. I had a bit of a meltdown on Saturday when I had a mental look back through what I had eaten- KFC, creamy laksa, Neenish Tarts, chocolate, chips, pie, cake and I could go on.

My anxiety levels on Saturday were so high that I was even scared to eat. I knew I wanted to eat (I was hungry) but didn’t know what to eat. Part of me wanted the comfort of the fat sliding down my throat, yet another part of me realised that the scales (and to a lesser extent my clothing) were saying that enough was enough.

Then I had another panic attack at the gym and couldn’t do the boxing class. I couldn’t face it. Part of it was extreme tiredness. Part of it was a sugar thing (I hadn’t eaten) and I just felt like crap. MIML™ came straight over after gym and we chatted. And he listened. And he didn’t judge. And he offered the most practical advice and helped me find solutions.

And we went and grabbed a smoked salmon and salad bagel and went out to have a steak for dinner (mine with baked spud!) and I even skipped dessert- well I did have a spoon and tried MIML™s Toblerone gelato!

And yesterday I made an omelette for breakfast with spinach and fetta in it. And I went to the market with MIML™ and didn’t have a samosa. Or any cake. Or a pork bun. Or anything else except for a coffee. And lunch and dinner were sensible choices. And last night I made up a large tub of bircher muesli and cut up a large bowl of fruit salad.

And this morning I got up earlier and had breakfast. And had a cup of tea. And didn’t rush. So I organised a massage for this evening which was the most sublime torture I have had in a long time! But a heap of the tension and tightness in my muscles has dissipated.

And I have looked at food as comfort. I actually started a blog post on the subject a few weeks ago and it is sitting in my drafts box. The kids had had a rough afternoon on the bus so I made a banana custard for dessert. And I never make dessert unless we have visitors. But they needed comfort. And I equated comfort with food and thus perpetuated this to another generation. Well kind of. Except I have discovered that I am doing this.

I helped out at a breastfeeding education class a few weeks back. One of the things we look at in the class is the role of dads in breastfeeding. A lot of women report they feel pressure to give their baby artificial food because it means that Dad can feed the baby. One of the messages was that we have to remember that comfort can be given in many more ways than with food.

And now I am rambling! But I am trying to get my eating back on track. I did not enjoy the way I felt on Saturday afternoon. I know that part of anxiety disorder means that panic attacks will happen and I will have anxious periods, but I need to also recognise that I can do my bit to help alleviate the frequency of these events. I can exercise and I can eat properly and I can practice CBT.

And I can take part in the latest Bloggest Loser challenge. I am not setting out to win the competition or to even weigh myself each week, but I am changing the way I eat and attempting to change my lifestyle.

For some reason I seem to always bake on Good Friday! For years I have made home made hot cross buns. This year I decided to try something different- choc cross buns, but without the crosses!

I found a recipe online and tweaked it to make it my own. It was actually the bestest dough I have ever made in my kitchenaid. Once kneaded it was neither dry nor sticky and did it rise! I wish now I had taken photos along the way, but still, I have some of the finished products:

We did smilies:

And stars:

And even treble clefs:

They may look quite artisan like, but they tast damn fine!

Oh and the recipe I adapted:

2 x 8g sachets dried yeast
Pinch of salt
5 cups plain flour
1 tablespoon cocoa
1/3 cup sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
60g butter, melted
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 packet (250g) chocolate chips
1/3 cup water

1) Combine milk, yeast, salt and a pinch of sugar in a jug. Whisk together until combined.

2) Place the flour, cocoa and cinnamon together into a bowl (I used the mixer bowl.) Add 2 tablespoons of sugar (the remainder of the sugar will be used in the glaze), yeast mixture, butter and egg. With the dough hook, blend mixture together (speed 1). Increase speed to 2 and knead until dough is smooth, about 6-10 minutes. Place into a lightly oiled bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Set aside in a warm place for up to 1 1/2 hours or until the dough doubles in size.

3) Punch dough down to its original size with your fist. Add chocolate chips and knead until well combined. Divide dough into 12 even portions and shape into balls. Place into a 20×30cm pan lined with baking paper about 1cm apart. Cover with plastic wrap. Set aside in a warm place for 30 minutes or until buns double in size. Preheat the oven to 200ºC

4) Make a paste for the top decorations. I used about 3tbs plain flour, 1tbs cocoa and enough water to make a pipe-able paste and put it in my Tupperware piping do-dad! When the buns are ready to go into the oven, pipe on the decorations.

5) Bake buns for approx. 20 minutes or until a skewer inserted into the centre of one of the buns comes out clean.

6) To make the glaze, put the boiling water and 2 tablespoons sugar in a ceramic bowl and microwave for 5 minutes. This can be done on the stove, but I find the microwave easier! Brush warm glaze over warm buns.

7) Serve Chocolate Hot Cross Buns warm or at room temperature.

I am sitting in the airport lounge waiting to head back home after the most wonderful weekend! For Christmas I gave MIML™ a red box that contained information about this weekend- a trip to Brisbane for a sushi making course! We have had a ball. Caught up with one of my best friends, riden along the river on a ferry and seen the night lights from the Wheel of Brisbane.

And we have eaten well (well apaprt from McDonalds!) and we can now make sushi. And we browsed Borders and drank brown liquid at Starbucks. And I may or may not have Krispy Kremes in my posession, but they are not for me- MIML™ startrs a new rotation tomorrow and is taking them in to make a good impression! Win!

The company has been excellent and we have laughed and laughed and laughed! Over stupid things. MIML™ is made of awesome and win and I am so glad to have him in my life.

As for Brisvegas… Look it is a lovely city, but perhaps not the one I want to move to. I think Canberra is still first in the running. But they better have good cooking schools there…

Remember The Omnivore’s 100? Well here is the festive version! Again from Very Good Taste. Yes, they haz it!

Here’s what to do:

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve tasted.
3) Place an asterisk after all the items you’ve cooked/prepared.
4) Optional: Cross out anything you never want to try, or add an exclamation mark after anything your really want to try.
You’re also welcome to post a link to your version of the list here at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk.

The VGT Christmas Fifty

1. Crystallised or candied fruits
2. Egg nog
3. Bûche de Noël, or Yule log*
4. Rum balls*
5. Bebinca
6. Roasted chestnuts*
7. Cavallucci
8. Tourtière
9. Uszka
10. Port & Stilton
11. Hallaca
12. Roast goose
13. Lefse
14. Sugar plums
15. Romeritos
16. Pinnekjøtt
17. Hot toddy*
18. Christmas cake*
19. Tamales
20. Sorpotel
21. Panettone
22. Candy canes
23. Pasteles
24. Speculaas
25. Makowiec
26. Christmas pudding*
27. Stollen
28. Figgy pudding
29. Lebkuchen
30. Turrón
31. Mince pies*
32. Wassail bowls
33. Buñuelos
34. Pio Quinto
35. Marzipan fruits
36. Mulled wine*
37. King cake
38. Christmas beach barbecue (no!- and I don’t know if I ever will as it is too hot!)
39. Cola de mono
40. Lutefisk
41. Kutia
42. Pizzelle
43. Dominostein
44. Cranberry sauce*
45. Pfeffernüsse
46. Satsumas or clementines
47. Pumpkin pie
48. Smalahove
49. Nut roast
50. Brandy butter*

Giving me a score of… drum roll… 28… Seems I have some eating to do!

It has been ages since we have had a meme around here! And since I have been including many food related posts, this one seems rather apt! It comes from Very Good Taste which is a great blog about food and stuff!

Here’s what I want you to do:
1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment here at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar (it was at College, ok!)
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more (but I am willing to accept donations towards achieving this!)
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette (maybe! Not willing to cross it out, but then again…)
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant. (This is definitely on my list to do though!)
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

OK! So I am an adventurous eater (58/100), but there are plenty of things on the list I have not eaten but do hope to try! How do you score? Post your results to your blog, link to www.verygoodtaste.co.uk but also let me know here how you go! Oh and yes, there is only one thing on the list I probably won’t try! And I have eaten a Four and Twenty Pie and many people say they contain horse meat…