Ms Fifikins

This humble little blog turns 2 today. As we enter the terrible 2s I figured a change wouldn’t be a bad idea so I threw a theme together googled ‘funky free wordpress themes that would suit my blog’ or something and got this. It aint too bad.

I will admit it has some glitch on the column to the right that shows it has valid XHTML & CSS stuff! If someone could help me remove it that would be swell!

And I am still typing singlehanded like. Well kinda. My wrist hurts. I have overdone it so need to stop now. Next time I’ll bake a cake, unless you want to bake one for me?

But do you like my purdies?

January

Originally uploaded by fifikins

Yes, this year’s project! I have eaten very well this month!

I am finding the difference between this project and the twitter365 project of last year is that this year I am taking more photos and finding it hard to choose which one to post at times!

I am typing this one handed. I was starting to admire all those guys who mange to type single handed, until MIML™ pointed out that most of them just type ‘yes’ and ‘ooh’ and ‘oooh yeah’ and ‘woooooooow’ and ‘more tit’ and the like!

I had my ganglion cyst removed yesterday. It was probably the best general anaesthetic I have ever had- no nausea at all afterwards. I complained about the pain and was given pethidine. That drug rocks. Let’s just say it gave me the warm fuzzies.

So much I want to say, but it is hard with this limited typing. I looked for recovery stories on ganglion cyst removal and cam across not a lot, so I hope that I can share a bit so that people in the future having it done can see that it is not all the horror stories that are around at present- pain after 7 years, 8 weeks healing etc etc etc.

So far so good. The back of my hand is numb and the wrist hurts when I try and use it. I know it will be better when I can get back to pushups and boxing!

I have a heap of stuff people have given me to watch over the next week, but other suggestions would be appreciated too! I think Hero’s was on top of the list and True Blood or something.

@scarletwords’s Peanut Butter Cup cookies

Originally uploaded by fifikins

Yep, perhaps a picture does tell a thousand words! Well a blog post can!

Remember those chain letters you got as a child… choose 3 friends and pass it on? Well I feel this is kinda like a blog version! The amazing Scarletwords got it from Married/Single Parent and now you can get it from me! But make sure you tell these two wonderful bakers that you baked it! Oh and then blog it and link it back or something. Or not! You choose!

[edit: Oh and I don't plan on eating them all! I was going to take them to a South African Braai (barbecue) tomorrow but the braai has been cancelled so we are taking them to the mental health crisis team who have to work.]

It’s ‘Straya Day’ tomorrow. The day commemorates the British setting foot on Australian soil. The ‘discovery‘ was a few days earlier, the settlement a few years later.

It is a weird date to celebrate a nation to begin with. ANZAC Day would be not much better. Perhaps Melbourne Cup Day would be the best date, but I can’t see Melbournians losing a public holiday, nor Sydney-siders celebrating a Melbourne holiday!

But we have the date set. Whilst we celebrate our nation on ANZAC Day, Australia Day, Grand Final Day and numerous other sporting event days, apparently we need another day to take pride in our country.

But what is pride? Really it is deep pleasure or satisfaction. And yes, as an Aussie I have this. I am proud to be Australian. I love living here and I am glad of the opportunities I have. I enjoy my sport. I like seeing Australians do well on the international sporting arena.

I love the way Australia is a multicultural nation. In this town I can eat Indian cuisine prepared by Indian immigrants, Sushi prepared by Japanese immigrants, Yum Cha by Cantonese immigrants and pizza made by 15 year old school kids earning $8 per hour Italians (if you know where to go!). There are Asian grocers who offer advice about cooking different varieties of rice and suggest different spices for a curry mix.

If I happen to end up at the local hospital I will be treated by medical professionals who have trained all over the world and now call Australia home. And I know from MIML™ the rigorous testing they have been through to gain registration in Australia!

In my work I visit workplaces that embrace and celebrate Indigenous culture and history and share it with locals and visitors alike. As a tourist destination we welcome people from all over the world and show them what our corner of Australia has to offer. It takes pride to do this- imagine trying to show visitors something if you thought it was crapola!

But when does pride turn to conceit? Conceit is excessive pride. A self-obsession. I have tried to have this talk with Miss almost 12 today. She wanted to buy an ‘outfit’ to wear to an Australia Day Braai we are going to, yes a barbecue with other South African immigrants. I tried to argue she has plenty of clothes. She believes that they are not Australian. Apparently Australian clothes are either green and gold or emblazoned with Australian Flags or the Southern Cross. When I pointed out that most of these clothes were made offshore, she again debated that  Australia Day was about being Australian.

Her arguments amaze me. I think her final point that she “had studied Australian History at least 10 terms” (that she could remember) and therefore knew so much more than I possibly could worried me the most. I know the curriculum she has studied. I have seen her work. I have spoken with her teachers. The SOSE syllabus is heavily weighted on citizenship and civics and what living in a multicultural society means, and yet these kids (her friends share similar ideas) have been on holiday for almost 2 months and the marketing dollar has won them over.

Because really, that is what it is. The Christmas decorations come down and whilst the Easter Eggs are rolled out other space is filled with Australia Day merchandise before the Valentines Day stuff appears. I think that is what I find most baffling and veers Australia Day from a day of pride to a day of conceit is the merchandise marketing. Wear the flag. Paint it on your body. Fly the flag from your car. Rave about what a brilliant place Australia is to live in. Celebrate. Party. Drink. Make it an extra long weekend and be an Aussie.

Not sure what people do the other 364 days of the year. Perhaps they are the days they think about improving the situation of our Indigenous brothers and sisters, they think of ways of making Indian students feel welcome, they think of buying local products to help provide Australian jobs, they think of the things needed to be done to help make sure global warming is slowed to protect our ‘place.’ That must be it.

Nope, not my grandma, or my great aunt, or my year 2 teacher, but a cyclone. And one that is heading straight for us.

This week marks 7 years since we moved to Cairns. I think we are fortunate that this is only our second cyclone, the first being Larry. The difference here though is that Larry hit Innisfail 100km away and Olga looks like she is heading straight for Cairns.

At the moment it is only a category 2 cyclone, but it looks like she might intensify into a 3. Steve was a Category 2 and the damage bill to North Queensland was estimated to be $20M.

It’s scary, but exciting at the same time. I believe we are prepared. I will put the trampoline under the deck downstairs in the morning and possibly turn the table over on the deck and take the chairs inside. I have taken in the buckets and things in the back yard so they don’t end up in Townsville or Brisbane!

I’ll try and tweet through it! It depends how long the battery on my phone holds. I have charged the camera so will take photos if I can. Insurance is paid up. I hope I don’t have to claim.

Perhaps all I need now is sleep. I’ll try it and hope it comes!

Oh… and a pretty picture for you…

See- looks like it might hit the deck… Or else we will be flooded out!

[edit: I don't actually think that circle is the cyclone itself, but it looks purdy!]

For fear this blog is turning into more than just rantings from a born again psycho (self diagnosis) and has descended into the pits of being crap about food and exercise… Well at least it isn’t about my kids… although it was going to be, but I won’t put them through that… they already complain they learn more about my activities from the intertubes.

For Miss 11 going on some much older age… I have no plans for the weekend apart from sleep. And Gym. And that is where the punishment thing comes in.

Someone I know was asked last year if they were pushing themselves at the gym for punishment and went on to justify why they weren’t. I believe they had it right too. I am beginning to doubt myself though.

I was there twice today. I have been exhausted all week. I keep telling myself the gym makes me feel better, but in reality, I feel the same. I don’t seem to get that rush of endorphins that people talk about. I get stiff and sore.

This hasn’t been the best week. I took a huge tumble in the street yesterday as I was stepping up the kerb to put money in the parking machine. I went splat on my face, landed on my sore wrist, grazed both knees and looked up to find the GM of one of the major workplaces I deal with, along with 2 other senior staff, offering to help me. Just give me back my dignity.

Last night turned into a pity party for me and whilst I went to bed at 10pm, I mulled things over in my head for many hours and woke up with puffy eyes feeling the worse for wear, but determined to get to my 7.30am PT session at the gym. Decided against doing my C25K session straight after and went back this evening for that.

Punishment? I dunno. Feels like it at times. I’ve let my body get like this and I want to change it.

Oh and tonight… yeah, an early night. I have just had ‘words’ with the kids about not caring if it is school holidays- I have to be at work in the morning and I have to drop them off before I go to work. Also reminded them that I needed my rest (I can hear one in the bathroom as I type this) and I can’t rest until they are in bed. Don’t worry- I first told them to get into bed at 8.30.

And on top of that I have to wait another half hour or so for the washing machine to finish. So I am having a pity party again. And all I want is a hug and the one I asked for today never eventuated.

Just telling it as it is.

I am not one to make resolutions. In the past I have made plans and then they have gone to pot and I have ended up being a bit of a last minute kinda gal. Yes I will have tentative plans, but I will wait and see what is going to happen and sometimes hope for the best.

I think 2010 is a little different. For the last week or so I have been reflecting on what has changed in my life and my outlook. I have been examining my philosophies on food and body image. I have been trying to work out what has actually changed, how it has changed and why it has changed. And I have drawn some blanks along the way too!

I have seen how my philosophy of body and the related philosophies of food and movement have changed in dramatic ways. It is not everything in moderation, nor don’t eat this, nor only eat that. It is more a what effect will putting this in my body have and what will my body have to say about it. I suppose taking note of my body and its signals and not creating binaries when it comes to food (good or bad etc) has helped.

So tonight we had slow cooked roast pork with potato gratin, braised cabbage and onion, cider and mustard gravy. And it was delicious! I had smaller portions than I might have had in the past. I have plenty of meat left over and I plan to use it in sandwiches and salads this week. I enjoyed it immensely. I enjoyed the cooking of it and the taste of it all. The old me would have said ‘Shit, think about all those calories and let’s have another scoop of potatoes!’ The new me enjoyed the amount I had and I feel I practised restraint.

Another of my old thinkings was ‘everyday v special’ foods. Putting certain foods on a pedestal and thinking you have to deserve them is not helpful either! It also creates an idea of food being a reward- if it’s someone’s birthday then have a slice of cake because it isn’t their birthday every day. Now I think about whether I want a slice of cake and why I want a slice of cake.

But it is not all if you want it, have it either! I think part of it is I examine why I want it. I had a shocked of a day last Monday. One thing after another. At 5pm when I was heading home I contemplated going through a drive through, or calling at the shops to get a block of chocolate and then I thought about my feelings. I was feeling angry. I was feeling helpless. I was feeling tired. I was feeling let down. I wasn’t feeling hungry. I ended up going to the gym.

So no resolutions as such, but perhaps some short term goals. Apart from listening to my body more, I am trying to be more active. I, like so many others it seems, have jumped on the C25K bandwagon. I have finished week one and although I have always said I hated running, I found it not too bad, perhaps even enjoyable! I know I will complete the programme, however I also know it might take longer than the 9 weeks, especially as I am having wrist surgery in a few weeks. (But that is for another post!)

I am also trying to lead a less cluttered lifestyle. I am finding this is more than a less cluttered environment, but again more a philosophy. I have always been busy, but I suspect a lot of my business has been procrastination. So actually achieving things and measuring these achievements has been helping.

The house is getting a lot less cluttered too. I have had a major spring/summer/wet season clean! I feel comfortable having people over- even calling in unexpectedly. Today it was my wardrobe’s turn! 5 large glad bags of clothes I either don’t wear or can’t wear. Clothes that are too big and too small. Clothes that I haven’t worn in a while. Clothes that even if/when my body shape changes I won’t want to wear as they have been hanging there for so long! 3 dresses I bought on eBay and have never worn. The dress I wore 8.5 months pregnant to my ex-sister-in-law’s wedding. And finally the large box of baby clothes.

I remember wishing my mother had held onto some of my favourite baby clothes and I always thought I would do that. But it is just clutter. So the box of smocked dresses and rompers, the overalls Immy wore when she took her first steps, the bright jumper Jasper loved- all gone! They are just items– transient objects that take up space. Items other people might be able to use.

It was the kitchen cupboard’s turn last week. I rearranged them and threw out the plastic containers without lids, got rid of glasses I never use. Put the good dinner set in a top cupboard and will even think about using it more. Got rid of all the cockroach shit!

All changes. Patterns of behaviour that are different to this time last year. Patterns that are ever evolving and changing. Patterns that are helping me. Patterns that are helping those around me. By changing my behaviours I see impacts in others- a ripple effect. Interesting that!

If Paypal was an Australian company, I’m sure it would be called Paymate. Or I-owe-ya-one or something. But it would have the connotation of mateship and friendship and going the extra mile for your friends. But Paypal isn’t really like that.

Over 12 years ago, the first only community I became involved with was for mums experiencing pregnancy after infertility. I was brand new on the intertubes and googled altavista-ed forums or mailing lists or something and came across Panfert.

Our babies were born. There was a group of us all due around similar times. Most of these women were in the US and knew each other from infertility support groups. And Panfert grew. Soon we decided we needed our own little community to talk about parenting issues. So IFBabies was born.

Another Aussie gal had found Panfert by this stage along with some Brits. Over the years we ended up growing as a group and formed a great support network for each other. Some people had older children, some went on to have more. There were adoptions. There were deaths. Some weeks the group would be wildly active. Some weeks there would be very few messages.

Along the line some people lost contact. One of the founders of IFBabies went through a really rough trot and I am sad I have lost contact with her.

At one stage we organised monthly ’swaps.’ We would have a theme and send a package to someone. About 5-6 years ago this then evolved into the Holiday Swap. One person volunteered to coordinate the project and you could sign up. Then however many people signed up you would send that many gifts to the coordinator who would then bundle up parcels to send to everyone.

I didn’t participate in the first couple, but loved reading how creative people are. It was always getting into the holiday spirit and making mums feel pampered. The first year I participated I beaded keyrings with people’s names on them. I think other years I sent eucalyptus scented draw sachets and pot holders and things. This year I forgot about weight and sent heavy things! Oops!

The deal was once the goods were bundled up to be sent out, postage would be calculated and then divided amongst how ever many people were participating, so everyone paid equal postage.

Here’s where paypal comes in. It is a fantastic way to transfer funds overseas. ThePcoordinator would send an invoice and you could just pay.

That is until this year! I just happened to be in South Africa when the invoice came through. Not a problem I thought, I’ll wire the money, no issues. But there were.

Paypal recognised I was not in my home country. The first I knew of it was a generic email I received that said my account had been suspended because of suspect activity. I actually mistook it for a dodgy email and forwarded it to Paypal thinking someone was trying to steal my identity.

When I tried to pay for an eBay purchase I was told that my Paypal account was being investigated. So I logged onto Paypal and lo and behold they thought my account had been accessed illegally and I needed to confirm who I was.

As with all things, there are shades of grey. Paypal would be the only place now I have not changed my surname post divorce. I went through the steps of unlocking my account- changing my password and setting up more security questions and answers. Then they said they had to debit AU$2 from my credit card and it would appear on my statement with a 4 digit code.

Even in this digital age, credit card statements are still not instantaneous. It took 8 days for the exact description to appear with the code. Then once I had entered the code I was told I had to wait to see if they would unlock my account- another 24 hours to wait.

I am glad Paypal recognised abnormal activity on my account, however I also believe there were better ways it could have been handled. Here I was trying to wire US$25 to someone I had wired money to in the past. It was from an invoice.

I had supplied security questions in the past and I could have easily answered those. I had a password that was not a dictionary word with a mix of upper and lowercase letters and numbers. It would have been much easier to be able to reset my password, answer my security questions and even provide bank account numbers or credit card numbers instead of the run around I had to go through.

Others have told me they have had similar experiences with Paypal when travelling. Perhaps Paypal needs to have a notification system where you can inform them of travel plans? Whatever it is, they need something else that will save the run around I have been through over the last 10 days or so.

You know how that song goes… ‘when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I’m feeling sad…’

Today was one of those days. It followed on from a crappy yesterday and started with me in a blubbering mess in the shower. At least I was saving on tissues. I chose not to do the make-up thing for work- it’s too damn humid anyway, plus I didn’t really need to highlight my eyes!

Then an email from Melissa who organised the Brown Paper Package exchange. And I looked at the list and thought, wow, there are a lot of people who haven’t received their packages yet so don’t lose heart. Then an email from Susan asking if my package had arrived because she posted it on 15th December. You know when you have a million thoughts run through your mind, like I hope customs hasn’t seized it all because it is so fantastic, or I hope it hasn’t gotten put on a boat instead of a plane because that can take months… Then I thought of the most logical explanation- a postal strike just before Christmas, Australia Post (deservedly) having every public holiday, plus an extra one last week and it will turn up eventually.

Well eventually turned out being today! I went to the shopping centre, actually fixed my watch band that broke before we went away (when I asked how much he said ‘for a new pin? like I dunno, maybe $1 or $2?’ Seeing it had taken him 10 minutes to search through lots of little boxes to find the right pin I gave him $2 and thought what a bargain! Then to the supermarket where they had Hot Cross Buns on sale. No Easter Eggs mind you, just buns. And no, I wasn’t tempted!

Then the Post Office. Seems they had been keeping a bit of my mail- 3 Christmas Cards, a bill, a letter from the government on their early childhood initiative (my kids are almost 12 and 9!) and a parcel!

I don’t know what it is about parcels but they lift my spirit. Even if it is something I have ordered through eBay or Etsy, I still get a thrill when there is a card in my mailbox saying I need to go inside to pick up a parcel!

And this parcel was so worth the wait! Inside were lots of brown paper packages! And it was like pass the parcel because under the brown paper was Christmas paper and ribbon and oh so many lovely treats! First, Susan had baked! What an ingenious solution to posting home made biscotti and biscuits- those fresh seal machines! And how they work! Must add one to my shopping list because the cookies are yummy!

Then there are three gorgeous little dishes which I have put next to my bed and sorted earrings into- absolutely awesome! Also a Christmas ornament- the Little Drummer Boy which happens to be one of my favourite Christmas songs! I used to have a Little Drummer Boy bottle of bubble bath as a child and I would make my mother refill it because I didn’t want to admit as a 10yo that I still liked playing with it in the bath and if I thought it could be useful then it would be ok!

Susan is more than a baker! She is a wonderful photographer and I was sent two framed photos- one of snow and the other of a gorgeous sunset and tree. Finally the most amazing part of the package– a DVD made by Susan of sights around the State of Virginia. The photos are amazing, the music awesome and it so inspires me to visit that part of the world.

Oh and here:

Even though it doesn’t do the DVD justice, on a hot and humid day like today the images of snow are just what I need! Thank-you so much Susan for putting together a wonderful package. It has lifted my spirits so much today. You rock!