Ms Fifikins

July!

Originally uploaded by fifikins

Yet another month of fifikins! Of course I love the photos with Ali and Susan in Canberra, but the whole month has lots of happy memories!

Hey folks! The gorgeous Vanessa sent me a link to this. Isn’t it just the best! Oh? You haven’t clicked through? Well I’ll do a little cut and paste then…

After coming across what seemed to be the 4000th or so post on someone’s blog starting with “I’m sorry I haven’t posted in awhile.” I decided it is time to rethink what makes a good blog and the expectations that have come to be part of it. I am thinking that no one should utter those words again . . .and with that thought I give you Blogging Without Obligation.

If you feel the same way feel free to grab the logo, make a logo or whatever you would like to do!

I release all the logos, thoughts and words mentioned here about this concept into the public domain. Take the idea and run with it. . .or walk away. It is all good.

• Because you shouldn’t have to look at your blog like it is a treadmill.

• Because its okay to just say what you have to say. If that makes for a long post, fine. Short post, fine. Frequent post, fine. Infrequent post, fine.

• Because its okay to not always be enthralled with the sound of your own typing.

• Because sometimes less is more.

• Because only blogging when you feel truly inspired keeps up the integrity of your blog.

• Because they are probably not going to inscribe your stat, link and comment numbers on your tombstone.

• Because for most of us blogging is just a hobby. A way to express yourself and connect with others. You should not have to apologize for lapses in posts. Just take a step back and enjoy life, not everything you do has to be “bloggable”.

Because if you blog without obligation you will naturally keep your blog around longer, because it won’t be a chore. Plus, just think you will be doing your part to eradicate post pollution. One post at a time.

Really what I think I do when I apologise is apologise to myself because I enjoy blogging. What I need to realise is that I blog for me. I don’t get paid to blog. It is nice that I have a small audience, but even if I had no audience I would blog.

I seem to have lost my blogging mojo. Sometimes I think of things to blog about, but then instead of doing it I start another game of Bejewelled Blitz on facebook!

This was shared on Plurk though and I thought I would share it here. It is pretty cool!

I have this really good friend. I’ll call her Liz, but that’s not her name. Liz is great at her job, but her boss is a bit of a twat. Her partner can be too at times. Her children do some pretty cool things and sometimes Liz likes to share their achievements. And so she should because they are awesome!

Liz’s boss started giving her and a whole lot of her colleagues a hard time a few years ago. Liz ended up having time off work because of stress related illnesses and out in an unsuccessful workers comp claim for this stress. One of the healing strategies suggested to Liz was to journal.

Liz is pretty adept at technology. She uses it successfully in her job, better than many, or even most of her colleagues. So she did what she thought was the wisest thing to do with regards to journaling- she created a blog. Liz used one of the free blogging software sites.

Liz always assumed she was blogging anonymously. She only ever used initials to identify people and only told her friends about the blog. It was a great venting medium for Liz. She was able to unload about her unhappy work and home situation and share her kids achievements.

But Liz’s blog was not anonymous. She was identifiable through it. Even though it never mentioned her name or anyone else’s, he received a call a few weeks back saying that upper management wanted to speak to her about it. They had printed out reams and reams of paper- yes, the entire blog. And they had highlighted the bits they thought were bad about their organisation.

Now they know about her boss, but they didn’t seem to care about what the workers actually think! But that aside… Liz deleted the blog immediately and wrote a letter of apology. She had no idea that others might be reading it and be able to identify her. She thought it was her friends.

Now management is asking Liz to justify why she shouldn’t lose her job.

Some reflections from me…

1. I found out very early on that if you say something that puts someone else in a less than favourable light it can backfire. I had made a comment about someone who was a bully and said how they were a bully and suggested why. This was in an international mailing list (we are talking 1999 here!) and I was one of 2 Aussies on there. But my comments had made it back to this person who proceeded to bully me even more. What was worse was that people who didn’t even know what the Internet was then were made to believe that I was saying inappropriate things in public spheres. I suppose I was, but I thought it was a small group of like minded people who were supporting each other.
2. What you say online is there for eternity. Even though Liz has deleted her blog, it is cached in many different places and there are sites that can be used to find it. It is not the easiest of things to do, but if people want to go looking, they can! Liz is fortunate in that if they google her name, they won’t find anything because she did use initials and not say “This is the blog of Liz Adams who works at XYZ as an ABC.”
3. There is no online privacy. Just google your name and you will get interesting results. I get results about product reviews from the last 10 years of roaming online. I get results from previous lives where I was commenting on bioethics. I get results from my twitter feed and from here. I don’t go around telling colleagues that I blog, but I wouldn’t be surprised if some had found my blog. I don’t talk a lot about work on here, but there are some topics I would like to cover in future. I will find out what the policies are on blogging if I mention our organisation. I suspect that if I was to say anything, I would need to have it cleared. I am not about to start proselytising or anything, so don’t run away yet!
4. I really feel for Liz. She is an awesome person who really has been through a rough trot. She does not deserve to lose her job and I hope the company can see fit to keep her on because she does a damn fine job. I hope she can start blogging again and perhaps find a different voice. Perhaps in time she might start venting again but be totally anonymous and not even tell her friends she is doing it. I stuffed up once. I was randomly clicking through on blogs (some sites have a random link at the top) and started following this chick who was going through a really rough time. Her (now ex!) hubby was having an affair and she had a young baby. Her blog was a little like a soap opera. And I left a comment. And she has not blogged since! I think she thought that she was just keeping a diary and didn’t even assume others would find it. There was no way I could identify her- she lived in Chicago and used amusing phrases and acronyms to describe people. But she stopped. I am kinda sad about this because she had a lovely way with words. Perhaps she got it all out of her system and didn’t feel the need to vent anymore?
5. If I am going to make public attacks on here I know I have to have my facts straight and I have to be able to back it up. There are people in my life who piss me off no end, but I don’t vent on here. I used to vent elsewhere but don’t feel the need to do it any more. I talk about it with friends, but I don’t leave an online trail. Well I hope I don’t!

Stilgherrian has an excellent site policy. Read it. There is no privacy online. A sad fact, but true.

No, no Christmas in July, but you know that other important season of the year- birthday season!

Yesterday, I had the best birfdai eva! Well almost!

MIML™ was working in the morning so I dragged myself off to Fusion Organics for brunch. It was nice spending time alone and responding to SMSs and tweets full of well wishes. Then to the gym for an hour of boxing. I don’t think my body has worked out that the maximum heart rate should be lower now that I am a year older, but that’s cool!

Had a quick coffee with MIML™ before getting the kids from their dad. We had some time together at home before heading out to dinner with friends at our favourite Cairns restaurant- Paddywhacks. All in all a great day!

And yes, I was spoilt! New sunnies from MIML™ and some gorgeous earrings and candles from the kids. Gin, and candles from friends (they know me well!).

This year is so far shaping up to be pretty fine! If only we could have more birthdays each year! Then I wouldn’t mind living to 500!

A perfect day indeed!