Ms Fifikins

About 15 years ago I went to a quiz night. For some reason I have a way of storing useless information that sometimes comes in handy at quiz nights. I think it used to be called General Knowledge or something, but I don’t think knowledge has a lot to do with it!

Anyway! There was this bonus round with each person to themseves. There was a mystery prize. Now I suppose I can be a little competitive. Well, a lot competitive if I put my mind to it and I love mysteries. Anyway! I was the first person with their hand up knowing that Sir Arthur Sullivan was the composer in the G&S duo and I won.

And I was presented with an envelope. I hoped it was tickets to the South of France or a weekend at a flash hotel. Heck I would have liked a voucher of some description and I suppose in the end this was a voucher of some description- it was a session with a solicitor to draw up a will.

This was pre-kids and it was a confusing session. I mean if I died, and my then husband died and any of my kids died and my mother died and my brother died and my aunt was dead I was made to decide who was getting the money. I think, from memory, it was Amnesty International and Trinity College Choir. But to be honest, after this long and tedious process I really didn’t care.

But things change in 15 years. Kids come along and marriages end. And I knew I needed to draft a new will.

One of the perks of my union membership is that the legal firm engaged by the union draws up free wills for members. So when they came to town a month or so back I made an appointment.

Now I am not planning on carking it soon. But I figured I had best be prepared. It is strange that if you marry your will is cancelled, but not if you divorce!

Before I went in I thought a bit about it. If I were to die I would need to kids to be taken care of. And I also figured that it doesn’t have to be another 15 years until I draw up a new will.

I had it all figured out. Money divided between the kids and guardians appointed. But then he stumped me- ‘what do you want down with your body?’ I had never really thought about it. I know I don’t want a ‘funeral’ funeral, but rather a party where people can gather around and tell stories and jokes and play music and remember. But my body? I know cremation causes plenty of greenhouse gasses, but where would I be burried? I don’t think they’d let me be burried in the rainforrest and the idea of a cemetary doesn’t excite me.

So I decided to make no decisions. I am tempted to leave my body to science and let the doctors of the future disect my muscles and tissues. I mean I will be gone. Nothing, just memories of me will remain. Someone told me that people will want somewhere to go to visit me, but I won’t be there so it seems a little pointless.

I signed a simple will the other day. With the solicitor as executor, the kids getting the money and guardians appointed. It is in place in case I do die and I will think about what else is important to me and do another one in the next few years. Maybe!