Ms Fifikins

You know that feeling of almost anxiety, but perhaps a good anxiety? Otherwise known as excitment perhaps! Well i can haz it!

MIML™ and I are in the QANTAS Club lounge at Brisvegas airport waiting to board our flight to Hong Kong. 2 weeks together. No work phones. No work emails. No work. It was weird setting up out of office notifications on emails and changing my voicemail. Then taking my SIM card out of my phone and putting a pre-paid one in to roam and for the kids to contact me in case of emergency.

Weird, but exciting. I have very little money to spend, but I am not going to spend money. I am going to spend time relaxing. To wind down. To spend time with the gorgeous MIML™.  Together. No kids. No families. No colleagues.

Yes we have our laptops and we will log on and update facebook statuses and I will twitter and plurk and enter footy tips and no doubt peruse eBay… And peruse the local markets. And eat the food. And experience a different culture or culturesif you consider our few days in Macau at the end of our trip or the planned excursions to China.

Yes, China. We plan to go and shop, but also I want to see what I can look at online. In Shenzhen will I be able to access my blog? Or my friend’s blogs? Will I be able to tweet? I suppose will I have time between looking at the markets and SEG?

Very few plans, but places to stay. Little luggage packed, but no doubt Chinese laundries will abound, even in Hong Kong! Yes, go bonkers in Honkers! That’s what we’ll do!

On one of our first dates, MIML™ took me for a ride on the back of his motorbike– and I loved it! I loved it so much that I ended up getting my (restricted) bike licence last December.

But I still don’t have a bike.

Last August, MIML™s overseas licence expired and when he tried to get a Queensland one he was told he had to sit the tests again. And in Queensland you have to have held a car licence for 12 months before you can have a motorbike licence. Now they were kind and said that MIML™ didn’t need to get his restricted licence first, but he did need to get his car licence. So he got his car licence last August (he has been driving for many years, don’t worry!) But it was only this last week he resat his bike test and passed with flying colours.

So today we went for a ride. I wore my new jacket, gloves and boots (ouch, my toes still hurt!) and we rode to Ellis Beach. A gorgeous sunny day and it was just lovely being back on a bike and snuggled up to my man!

When we arrived at Ellis Beach there were bikes everywhere. There are bike clubs that do regular rides to Port Douglas and it looked like today there was a Harley group. Around 40 bikes, riders and pillions pulled in and out whilst we were there.

And it made me think about what sort of Bikie Mole I want to be…

You see there were types. There were the young skinny ones that looked like they had to wear chunky boots to keep them anchored to the ground and stop them blowing off in the wind like some fish and chip wrapping. There were older skinny types too, mostly in fringed jackets. There were other older ones in tight jeans and t-shirts that emphasised ample bosoms.

The Harley riders were also of different genres, however they had common characteristics– they all wanted to show that their bike was loudest when taking off and moving up the gears.

I suppose I’m not really into leather and the fringed jacket does little for me. Likewise chunky heeled boots. My bosom isn’t that ample and my figure not that suited to anything tight…

So I will stick to being me! Jeans with my Air Flow BWM jacket, DOT helmet, black gloves and boots that will stretch a little and make more room for my toes!

And I won’t be an accessory for much longer. When we get back from our trip I am looking in earnest for a used 250cc bike. MIML™ and I can ride together. Well most of the time, because it is still awfully nice sitting on the back snuggling up to him as we cruise down the highway!

About 15 years ago I went to a quiz night. For some reason I have a way of storing useless information that sometimes comes in handy at quiz nights. I think it used to be called General Knowledge or something, but I don’t think knowledge has a lot to do with it!

Anyway! There was this bonus round with each person to themseves. There was a mystery prize. Now I suppose I can be a little competitive. Well, a lot competitive if I put my mind to it and I love mysteries. Anyway! I was the first person with their hand up knowing that Sir Arthur Sullivan was the composer in the G&S duo and I won.

And I was presented with an envelope. I hoped it was tickets to the South of France or a weekend at a flash hotel. Heck I would have liked a voucher of some description and I suppose in the end this was a voucher of some description- it was a session with a solicitor to draw up a will.

This was pre-kids and it was a confusing session. I mean if I died, and my then husband died and any of my kids died and my mother died and my brother died and my aunt was dead I was made to decide who was getting the money. I think, from memory, it was Amnesty International and Trinity College Choir. But to be honest, after this long and tedious process I really didn’t care.

But things change in 15 years. Kids come along and marriages end. And I knew I needed to draft a new will.

One of the perks of my union membership is that the legal firm engaged by the union draws up free wills for members. So when they came to town a month or so back I made an appointment.

Now I am not planning on carking it soon. But I figured I had best be prepared. It is strange that if you marry your will is cancelled, but not if you divorce!

Before I went in I thought a bit about it. If I were to die I would need to kids to be taken care of. And I also figured that it doesn’t have to be another 15 years until I draw up a new will.

I had it all figured out. Money divided between the kids and guardians appointed. But then he stumped me- ‘what do you want down with your body?’ I had never really thought about it. I know I don’t want a ‘funeral’ funeral, but rather a party where people can gather around and tell stories and jokes and play music and remember. But my body? I know cremation causes plenty of greenhouse gasses, but where would I be burried? I don’t think they’d let me be burried in the rainforrest and the idea of a cemetary doesn’t excite me.

So I decided to make no decisions. I am tempted to leave my body to science and let the doctors of the future disect my muscles and tissues. I mean I will be gone. Nothing, just memories of me will remain. Someone told me that people will want somewhere to go to visit me, but I won’t be there so it seems a little pointless.

I signed a simple will the other day. With the solicitor as executor, the kids getting the money and guardians appointed. It is in place in case I do die and I will think about what else is important to me and do another one in the next few years. Maybe!

OK. It is Mother’s Day and I will admit it- there are times when I hate being a mother.

Whoa! I know it is not that PC to actually admit it, but being a mother sucks. Well not all the time. The love and hugs and kisses and seeing your young ones accomplish things is awesome, but there are not so nice bits too.

And I am not taking dirty nappies or toilet training or being woken up at all hours of the night. Or even pre-pubescent attitudes from 11 year old girls. I am talking responsibility.

I grew up in a pretty strict household. There were rules and these were black and white. This was not necessarily a bad thing as long as you didn’t try and question things. What was said was the rules and there was hardly ever any movement. In many ways this was a pretty sheltered environment too. Whilst I was being protected from the evils of the world, I didn’t necessarily know they were there and what harm they could do, if any.

This has shaped me as a parent. I try and talk things through with my kids-

• What do you think might happen if I let you stay home all day by yourself?
• What might happen if I leave you at the shopping centre for 4 hours with your friends?
• Why does Mum have access to my chat logs on MSN? (I have never read them, but it is know that I can)
• Why can’t I put a photo of myself or my surname up on my MSN profile?
• Why doesn’t Mum pay the cleaners to tidy my room and not just clean it?

But not all parents are on the same page. Some of Miss 11s friends spend all day home alone in the holidays. Some wander shopping centres for hours on end. Some put all manner of stuff online. At least Miss 11 now knows what happens when she lets the cleaners in her room and she hasn’t tidied- no I am not going to ring and ask where your XYZ is!

But my greatest challenge is TV and movie viewing. And that is not just with Miss 11. Mr 8 argues about it too. You see, I won’t let my kids watch M rated movies or television programmes. That is a rule and they know that. And they argue it. And it is damn hard! Mr 8 has watched the first Indiana Jones movie over and over again. But the rest are rated M. And I have seen them and probably there is not a lot in there that is inappropriate for him, but the office of film and literature classification has deemed that they have an M rating.

This means:

The M category is recommended for mature audiences. A mature perspective is required to view this material. The impact of the content is moderate.

Mr 8 has friends who last year were taken to see the latest Indiana Jones movie, Batman and IronMan. He has friends who have been to Star Trek and numerous other films and they talk about it.

It is not helped that originally, many of these cartoons were aimed at kids and they are merchandised to young kids.

I saw Star Trek on Friday night and was blown away by it. It is the best film I have seen in ages. And I know that the Dr Who crazed Mr 8 would also be blown away by it. But it has an M rating. I’ve seen it and there are part of it that are a little scary maybe, but there is no more violence than you would see in any cartoon. There is no overtly sexual content and it is a fun movie. But I fear that by allowing him to see this film, it would open the floodgates. Miss 11 is definitely mature enough to see it in my eyes, but I can’t really take her and not him.

So I find myself being black and white. M rating, nope you can’t see it yet.

Yes there is violence on telly especially in cartoons, however the animation helps the fantasy aspect of the programme/film.

Mr 8 and I went and saw Dragonball during the week whilst Miss 11 was on camp. I thought it was a crap film, but Mr 8 enjoyed it. Except for the mushy bits. A friend told me her 9yo daughter saw Race to Witch Mountain and thought it was really scary. Yet both of these have PG ratings. And there are some adult films that are rated PG- 27 Dresses comes to mind. Not that appropriate for an 11yo, but nothing overtly wrong with it either.

I am not sure when I will change my views. Perhaps we do need to look at censorship and divide the PG category so that we can recognise that parental guidance means different things for 5 year olds compared to 12/13 year olds.

Whatever the answer I will remain the mean mother, the one who says no to her kids and wants them to stay young for as long as possible. Perhaps I am turning into my parents. But there is such a fine line and as a mother this is one of my hardest responsibilities and dilemmas. And it sucks.

(Edit: Thanks pixel8ted for pointing out the errors- I have found a few spelling/typing booboos which I have changed. My brain is pretty fuzzy from the meds I’m on at present, please forgive my other errors everyone!)

Yeah, so I blogged on Star Wars Day last year.

Tonight I started updating my blogroll. And yes, I agree, your blog should be there! And I probably subscribe to it already. Which means I read it. But it would help if you could perhaps include a comment or something here with it’s address and I will make sure I put it over there if you kwim.

So yes, the fourth is with you… Use it!

I have been quiet of late. Lots going on. 27 sleeps ’til MIML™ and I head to Hong Kong and Macau with day trips into China.

I have never been one to draft blog posts, but I have 4 on the go. I want to blog about some of the funny experiences I had as a vicar’s wife. I want to reflect on losing my religion. I want to reflect on film classification and trying to slow ones kids from growing up too fast. I want to reflect on motherhood. Plus I have quite a few recipes to share. But the mental capacity is not there really. I am making an appointment to see my GP this week (well realistically I will be lucky if it is this month!) to discuss options.

I have been experiencing panic attacks again. This has been happening for a couple of months, but I only admitted it yesterday. Anxiety. I experienced periods of anxiety and panic attacks a few years back. I tried antidepressants but in the end decided they didn’t really help and some of the side effects weren’t that pleasant. But I am willing to try another one. Maybe. Well I am willing to talk to a doctor about it.

I wonder what to share on my blog at times. A friend is always talking about a friend of theirs who is always sharing too much online. They describe it as a train wreck, but at the same time admit that they want to see what is happening in this friend’s life.

I receive a report from Google Analytics each morning (or thereabouts) that recently tells me most of my readers come from google. If I put a post up it then changes to direct hits or the places I tend to pimp my blog, but even the other day when I put up a couple of posts google won with the majority of visitors.

I have looked at the keywords people use in the past. Remember this post? I hardly ever go to the actual google analytics site and see what people are looking for, but was surprised today when I did.

It seems there are people out there who find this site by looking for information on:

• recipes- jarred chops sweet and sour, millionaire’s shortbread, bagels and orange and almond cake. (I must do share some more recipes in posts…)
• Information on toads and their eradication. (Cool as this is a topic close to my heart)
• Various information about goldfish and guppies (not sure what info people will find here, but at least they are looking)
• Sex. (Actually there are quite a few people looking for kinky stuff… And some of it you should be ashamed- yes I assume your Aunt and Uncle do have sex!)
• Tonsils (Yes, it was still a horrid experience)
• And lots and lots of hits on reflections on various things including music, movies and weight.

It appears people find my miscellaneous whatnots. Whether they like them or not is another matter. It appears that if people do find them they don’t necessarily comment. I suppose I am trying to argue that because articles here are fond and found multiple times, some of which appear to be found by people actually looking for stuff that is important to them, then perhaps I am doing the right thing in sharing.

It is hard to know what to share and when to share and how to share. To wear one’s heart on one’s sleave means it can easliy be broken, but I hope I will be richer for the experience.