Last night we sat through a Joburg storm. Apparently it was one of the minor ones that only went on for a couple of hours.
Half an hour into it when the thunder and lightening seemed damn close, we lost power. Immy freaked out, but a bit of it was an act and Japs thought it was cool. I started off being a little nonplussed about the while thing until I saw the way MIML™ reacted. The lights were on on the houses over the back fence and there is vacant land across the road so we weren’t sure if it was just us, or the street, or what.
Then MIML™ headed into his sister’s room and had some serious conversations in Afrikaans. Then he went to his parents room and had similar conversations with them. It was then I noticed that he had his gun with him. I finally got the kids in bed and then dissolved. I felt powerless. MIML™ was obviously concerned and admitted that if there as going to be a home invasion, during a thunderstorm was a good time to go about it.
I felt so vulnerable. I was not in control and I was dependent on others. MIML™ and I went to bed and he brought his gun with and left it next to the bed. We talked about it.
But it brought about a dichotomy. Here I was in a foreign country to me being protected by a man I love. Then tomorrow we head home. Back to our own places. Catching up for a cuppa some evenings. Both of us working. A different dynamic to our relationship. I have so valued these 3 and a bit weeks together.
Trying to live in the present and not think too far ahead. We have an awesome relationship and from the start have declared we will move slowly. Before the trip I was worried about how we would cope spending so much time together, especially with the kids here too. Now I am worried about heading home and spending too much time apart. Need to find the inner power to make sure I live in the now and try not to worry about the future.
I have a bug. I think I caught it earlier in the year. And now, although I love green, I am like a rolling stone that gathers no moss. I am a traveller.
I suppose it is that time of year, time to reflect and time to resolve. Time to think of plans. Really I’m not sure why because next week will still be next week even if it is next year. But I still find myself dreaming of the places I want to visit. So I thought I would create a list. Some of the places I want to visit with the kids, some with MIML™, some with MIML™ and the kids and I suspect some even by myself! I know, shock of shocks, I have learnt to value me time!
Here goes…
Japan. It is the place MIML™ and I have talked of visitng next!
New Zealand. Perhaps in Summer to ride bikes around.
Great Ocean Road. Again on our bikes! Or hire bikes!
Cape York (bike ride? )
Kids to the Gold Coast Theme Parks
Disneyland (or World, or something!)
Paris!
Portugal
Tuscany
Scotland
Ireland
Wales
Namibia
More of South Africa (Cape Town especially!)
Botswana
Cruising- wherever, but the Caribbean and Mediterranean spring to mind!)
Alaska
Canada
South America- the Amazon
Health Retreat somewhere
Whitsundays
Tasmania
Darwin to Adelaide
China
Russia
Actually, this is the first 25 that spring to mine. They should keep us entertained for some years! I am sure there are more. Where do you want to travel?
Well it is time to update… Let’s just say 2009 has been awesome. It has had its ups and downs, but overall I have loved it. I think a lot of that has to do with my attitude and mind set. I have seen the bad things as passing clouds, knowing that there will soon be clear skies again. Pollyanna? Maybe!
1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
Visited Hong Kong and South Africa! Also did the Twitter365 project which I am very proud of. Oh and the tattoo and piercing. Gee I did lots in 2009!
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I think I weigh a little more than this time last year! For next year I plan to keep on carrying on as before!
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Lorraine gave birth to beautiful Mabel who has the best reasoning behind her name!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
I was not close to them, but the person who retired as District Secretary at the AWU in the far north was killed in a RTA with his wife and we attended the funeral for them.
5. What countries/states did you visit?
Brisbane, Brisbane, Hong Kong, Canberra, Melbourne, Brisbane, Sough Africa! I flew in January, February, May, June, July, August, September, October and December!
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
A more organised house and a fitter body. I did gain fitness in 2009, but I want to lose weight in 2010! Also looking forward to property settlement and custody issues to be finalised for the time being.
7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
June- Hong Kong trip, October- Court shenanigans,
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Staying sane! Sticking to my guns and developing more as a person. Also changing careers.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I’m not sure if I believe in failure any more.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I have a ganglion cyst on my wrist which will need to be seen to in the new year. Apart from that I have been remarkably well!
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My elephants in South Africa, the LED fairy lights for the deck, a new cleaner! Well I didn’t buy her, but I pay for her! Oh and of course Xena Queen my motorbike!
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
MIML™ has taught me so much about myself. He rocks so much!
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Apart from the obvious, sometimes the kids could be a little much! (ooh I think I’ll keep this response from last year!)
14. Where did most of your money go?
Lawyers and travel. And bills.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The travel! Both Hong Kong and South Africa. Also got excited about MIML™ passing part one of his AMC exam and being closer to gaining Australian residency. Oh and Geelong winning the AFL premiership!
16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
I can’t think of any particular song, but I did and do enjoy the Muse album Resistance that was released this year.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:?
a) happier or sadder?
happier
b)thinner or fatter?
Weigh a bit more, but am wearing the same clothes!
c) richer or poorer?
richer
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Organising and cleaning/tidying/decluttering. But I did do a lot of that later in the year.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Worrying.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
With the gorgeous MIML™, his parents, sister and her partner in Johannesburg! It was simply awesome!
21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Over and over again with the gorgeous MIML™
22. How many one-night stands?
None!
23. What was your favourite TV program?
Hardly watched any telly. Mainly Cooking Channel and Discovery. Did enjoy Skins.
24. Did you make a friend with anyone that you didn’t know this time last year?
Quite a few people through my new job and meeting more of MIML™s friends.
25. What was the best book you read?
Instant Calm by Paul Wilson. Well I have started it!
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
More of Muse! Imogen suggests Lonely Island!
27. What did you want and get?
A divorce! Stability in my life.
28. What did you want and not get?
My thesis finished.
29. What was your favourite film of this year?
Loved, loved loved Star Trek. Also enjoyed District 9, Invictus and thought 2012 was fun!
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
37. Went out to dinner with friends at Paddywhacks, our favourite restaurant.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I had a satisfying year as it was!
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Casual and relaxed!
33. What kept you sane?
MIML™ and the gym. And self-reflection.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Obama!
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
The spastic Conroy Internet Filter.
36. Who did you miss?
Friends who live too far away… (same this year!)
37. Who was the best new person you met?
My new work colleagues! They are awesome.
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
Live in the present. An event is just that- like a cloud passing in the sky. It is how we react that matters and if we don’t react it does not matter as much.
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
They will not force us,
They will stop degrading us,
They will not control us,
We will be victorious!
For as long as I remember I have been besotted with elephants. My prized possession as a child was a small blue Indian elephant with tiny mirror tiles on it that glistened in the sunlight. Whenever I went to the Melbourne Zoo I visited the elephants and heard tales from my mother of how she rode on them as a girl.
When we booked our trip over here the only think I wanted to do, apart from meet MIML™s parents, was to interact with elephants. Then I found the Hazyview Elephant Sanctuary. They say a picture tells a thousand words, so perhaps pay a visit here and view onwards to see lots of elephant adventure pics. I could rant and rant and rant and rave about what an experience it was, but let’s just say awesome is an understatement!
Kruger was also an experience. We stayed in a rondavel at Mopani Rest Camp. Driving there was only 75km from the gate, but took over 3 hours. The speed limit was 50km/h, but we usually drove at around 40, with lots of stopping, reversing and ooohing and aaahing! The kids kept a tally and Springboks won over poo and Moapni worms! Actually driving over the poo gave a gorgeous squelching noise, and there is still some on the mudguards on the car! We didn’t see the big 5, missing out on leopards, lions, buffaloes and rhinos (but the kids, will tell you they saw buffaloes even if they were gnus!) It didn’t matter because we saw plenty of elephants, zebras and some giraffes. And I don’t think it will be our last visit!
Oh and this:
I know! Bad quality, but still!
Then Soweto. I have talked politics in my previous post, but it makes me angry. It is such a complex situation. Let’s just say it was amazing visiting a squatter camp and seeing the 2 rooms which house 8 people. No electricity, no running water. Views of developing and developed worlds.
Then we visited the church where youth were shot at in the Soweto Uprising of 1976.
And witnessed this:
The sound quality from my point and shoot camera is not the best, but still you may get the idea. Real African harmony.
Then Christmas. Awesome spending it with MIML™s wonderful family. But another post on that to come…
Part of my political anger is the duplicity of it all from both black and white. The people we spoke to in Soweto told us of hope for a new country. We saw people in the squatter camp growing veggies. We saw child care centres. There were people selling crafts. They spoke of working and we heard of the plans for more permanent housing with electricity and running water. In the Apartheid Museum we learnt of the media blackout and how white South Africans were not aware of the effects of Apartheid.
Then on Christmas Eve, MIML™s sister’s partner’s family was held up at gunpoint in their home, locked in the bathroom as tvs, electronics, cash, jewellery and other things were stolen. Children the same age as mine witnessing their home being invaded. Christmas presents stolen. Immense trauma. The mother cannot stop crying. Merry Christmas. If this happened in Australia it would be front page news. Police would be putting in their full efforts to apprehend the criminals. Over here it is an every day occurrence and the police are too understaffed to really be able to effect any change.
I was freaked last night when MIML™ went out to open the gate for his sister when she got home from her partner’s parents place with his Glock 21 pistol fully loaded prepared to use it if need be. It is so not my reality at home, but for him it is reality. So matter of fact about the whole thing. Normal and accepted. He said he has never had to use it and for that I am so glad, but he said you would be crazy not to be armed.
I have been mulling over a few posts in the last 10 days since I arrived here in South Africa.
Is it what I expected? Yes and no. It is so different to Australia, and yet so similar too that it is hard to put into words.
The drivers are crazy. Speed limits- what speed limits? Freeways/motorways are 120km/h and if there is roadwork and marked down to 80 or 60 it just means you don’t travel at 140 any more, perhaps 130 instead! We drove down past Durban last weekend and saw articulated trucks overtaking smaller trucks going uphill! We saw vans with 100km/h on the backs of them travelling at well over 140km/h. We saw plenty of trucks/utes filled with people sitting and standing in the back, again travelling at fast speeds.
I witnessed the most intense racism towards black people I have ever seen. We went to a motorbike shop to get a battery for MIML™s bike. One biker dude- a middle aged gent basically told a black worker to get him a proper cup of coffee and called him a kaffer. To his face. He spoke in Afrikaans, but I understood most of what he said. Then he turned to me and asked me where I was from (in English!). I told him Australia and he asked me if we “have kaffers in Australia?” I told him we had black people, yes and he replied that “Kaffers would be ok if they weren’t black.” I was pretty disgusted and just didn’t say anything. MIML™ told me it was a typical example of old school Afrikaaners, a Boer.
We have driven past ‘informal settlements’ aka squats or shanty towns. It is hard to look at. Next week we will visit Soweto.
Everywhere we go people are friendly. And smiling- always smiling. There is so much poverty evident from rubbish in the streets and by the road to people selling all manner of goods from flowers and fruit to mag wheels and sunglasses on every street corner.
We have not experienced violence, but have heard stories from others who have. All houses have high fences, most with either razor wire, barbed wire of spikes on them. The windows are barred. Car park attendants at the shopping centres guard your car for you for a few rand- about 50¢.
Plastic shopping bags cost money- they have bar codes on them which are scanned! Clothing comes in all manner of sizes and is cheap compared to Australia. Eating out is relatively inexpensive too.
But something doesn’t sit right. MIML™ is in Australia because he can’t get a job in his home country. His parents get a gun out at night to protect themselves, even though they have never had to use it. The policy of affirmative action means that there are lots of black women working (it goes jobs to black women, then black men, then white women then white men) and the white minority do feel wronged.
But it is so not as simple as righting wrongs. The political past in this country is something that I cannot really understand. Many believe the country has narrowly avoided civil war in recent times, but that after the Football (Soccer) World Cup things may change again. There is a them and us mentality from many sides. As someone said to me get 3 South Africans in a room and you will have 5 religions and 7 political parties!
As a union organiser I cringe when I hear of people working long hours with no overtime and being paid cash under the table. When I hear of what retail workers are paid per week I think of how fortunate Australian workers are to have minimum wages set.
But today we saw Invictus. It is the story of the Rugby World Cup in South Africa in 1995. It showed Mandela the wise statesman. The shrewd politician who strived for a rainbow nation- people of all races living together as one.Interestingly, it does not open in Australia until late January.
It is an emotion charged film that I saw gave some hope seeing people like Mandela and Pienaar looking past colour trying to unite a country through sport. But again this unity has not necessarily been my experience here talking with various people who are wary about the future of South Africa. The past can’t be made right in a few years. It will take several generations and it is my hope that it will not be too late for what I have found to be a beautiful and welcoming country.
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
You know those golden cats that have a waving arm that you see around lots of shops, often Asian… well if I was a cat and was painted gold…
You see I have been doing things with my wrist that I shouldn’t have been. Like over 3 hours in the gym each week and using my iPhone a little bit too much… And I have a ganglion cyst. Apparently you used to burst them by whacking them with a Bible. I don’t think I have one of them lying around and I did consider using the Fair Work Australia Act, but figured I would probably only end up breaking my wrist.
I am loathed to use the term pain, but rather it causes discomfort. I have been having trouble at the gym- push-ups and tricep dips are not good for it and boxing… well even when fully strapped there is discomfort. I was asked by a certain 11 year old if I have been giving too many hand jobs. I almost crashed the car!
So I visited a hand therapist (snigger!) who told me I have to mobilise the wrist. Which is why I have robo wrist. Or happy wrist. Or whatever. Typing is a challenge, but apparently it wouldn’t be if I had all the ergonomic devices I require (will tell the boss when I get back from leave!) but overall it appears to be helping.
Which is lucky because tomorrow begins the trip of a lifetime. Or something! MIML™, the kids and I are off to South Africa to visit (well meet really!) MIML™s family and spend Christmas with them. If I get around to it (what is a tewit and do they come in other shapes?) I might even create a new page here to sort of be a travelogue type thing. And no I am not organised and not ready. I have kinda packed and thrown half the stuff I had on my bed to pack back in the wardrobe and I have heaps and heaps of room…
Oh and I did have a panic this afternoon when I couldn’t find the sealed court orders letting me take the kids out of the country! But I found them in the end- the last place I looked because it wasn’t worth looking once I had found them.
So I am taking lucky happy robo wrist on safari. I have been disgusting with all the African stereotypes I have been teasing both MIML™ and the kids with. So be prepared for photos- lots of photos and a few travelogue posts. There may even be a guest blogger or two…
Not sure if any other wordpress people are having this issue, but Akismet is picking up dozens of spam comments in Russian every day! Comment on this mofos!
Last week I was forced to endure attended the school Speech Night. For those not familiar with the non public, non government, private education system, Speech Night is the chance for the school to beat its chest and tell the parents how wonderfully it is managing the fees that they pay and how there is no school that lives up to this one.
I barely remember my year 12 Speech Night. I remember parts of it- playing the drum kit for the Valedictory Song, receiving the Music Award and I do remember the school captain telling us about something that even Mr Schreuder (the chaplain!) didn’t now about- a box of some description! I remember being upset and excited at the same time.
I remember better Speech Night when I was in year 9 or 10. Sitting on stage for the entire night in the orchestra, not being able to nap or yawn or look disinterested. But Professor Osbourne (who was married to our history teacher!) spoke about not knowing what to say at a Speech Night and that his wife had told him that the only thing she remembered from her Speech Night was being told never to marry a man thinking you can change him and him developing this into only being able to change yourself.
But Speech Night last week had no visiting speaker. It had a Bishop and the Principal and school leaders talking. And parts of it were semi-interesting. The Principal decried twitter and facebook and my space for taking the human affection out of community. He has obviously never been to a twitter meetup! The Chairman of Council told everyone how good they were for sacrificing things to give their children a good education. I raised an eyebrow at this! The school leaders pointed out the best of 2009. There was a death by PowerPoint presentation that had 3 sentimental songs backing it (unfortunately not all at once!) and the choir sang (rather well actually!) and the band played (they were awesome, but I am a biased parent!) and the Year 12 students were presented in their house groups.
Students from year 6 to 12 received awards. Most for academic achievement, but also for citizenship and trying hard. My mother was there and complained at recognising Duxes of year levels, thinking it takes away from average students who try their hardest. I don’t see much difference between awarding Duxes and recognising the swimming team that beat Saints for the second time in history! It is good to recognise achievement, but at the same time, perhaps there needs to be a little less chest thunping.
For those of you yet to endure Speech Night at your kids schools this year, may I give you a helper to get you through the night…
Points off if you get a Bingo within the first 20 minutes! Bonus points for getting more than one row!
Are there any other terms you would have on your Speech Night Bingo Card?
The last few months have seen an inordinate amount of time and stress go into the kids obtaining passports in order for us to travel to South Africa in December.
There is a long story that goes behind the passports and I won’t even begin to think about how much they have cost. But a Federal Magistrate has said they are to be issued and granted orders for the children to leave the country for 3.5 weeks.
We are cutting it fine. When I went to apply at the Post Office on Monday I was turned away for some petty reasons and I had to ring the passports office in tears and tell them what had happened. So I went back and they begrudgingly took my forms and insinuated that I was going to abscond with the kids. Sigh. I have a life, home, family and friends here. I suspect it was someone on a bit of a power trip. They had received authority to take payment for passport applications and check that they had been completed, but decided to take it a bit further on their own volition, making judgements that they did not have the authority to make.
But the whole experience did place great seeds of doubt in my mind as to whether the passports would be granted. Last night I got on the passports website and checked progress and it said both were 60% done. The same this afternoon. So I rang to double check and was told that they are in the queue to be printed and have passed all their checks. Relief is an understatement. I doubt that I will fully relax until we are sitting on a plane though.
Whilst the process has been tiring and expensive, it has also affirmed that I am doing the right things. Onwards and upwards!
Fiona | 
12 28th, 2009| 
)
Points off if you get a Bingo within the first 20 minutes! Bonus points for getting more than one row!
