Ms Fifikins

Here is my reflection on the year that is fast disappearing… Some may recognise it from a different place 12 months ago… I am not sure where it came from, I suspect an email 2 years ago.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?

Rode on a motorbike both as pillion and as driver!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Don’t think I made any… My usual one is to weigh less this time next year. Should manage that!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No…

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No…

5. What countries/states did you visit?

Melbourne and Canberra and Melbourne again! Loved Canberra!

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

Safer finances.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

April Fool’s Day- had my tonsils out! 14th April- met MIML™! 3rd December- Divorce granted

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Surviving! Joining the gym, standing up for myself more.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not finishing my thesis (yet!)

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

The dreaded tonsils! Never wishing a tonsillectomy on my worst enemy.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

I didn’t buy that much this year… But I think the gong would have to go to the jebusPhone! It rocks!

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

MIML™ never ceases to amaze me with his beautiful temperament- he is so kind and caring and thoughtful. And I&J have had their moments!

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

Apart from the obvious, sometimes the kids could be a little much!

14. Where did most of your money go?

Bills…

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Getting to know MIML™ more and visiting Canberra with him was amazing. Oh and getting my bike licence.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?

I can’t think of a shining song this year. Except for that stupid Katy Perry Kissing a Girl one!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:?

a) happier or sadder?
happier

b)thinner or fatter?
I think about the same in weight, but thinner!

c) richer or poorer?
Good question! I do have lots of richness in my life though.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Probably my thesis…

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying and over analysing things.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

I cooked and had roast turkey and veg (followed by Christmas Pud) on the deck with the kids, MIML™ and my mother and brother. The kids went to their dad’s at 3pm and I went to MIML™s and slept for a few hours before visiting friends.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?

22. How many one-night stands?

Nope!

23. What was your favourite TV program?

I hardly watched any telly this year apart from Doctor Who, Dexter and Spicks and Specks!

24. Did you make a friend with anyone that you didn’t know this time last year?

Apart from the gorgeous MIML™? I have made lots of friends, especially through Twitter and Plurk.

25. What was the best book you read?

I am still reading Dawkins’s The God Delusion which I am loving!

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

A whole heap of trance stuff that made its way from MIML™s music collection to mine!

27. What did you want and get?

Almost a divorce (to be finalised on 4th Jan!) and a steady relationship with a wonderful man.

28. What did you want and not get?

My thesis finished.

29. What was your favourite film of this year?

I loved The Orphanage. Also enjoyed Iron Man and Indiana Jones.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

36… Mum came up to visit and we went to a Greek Restaurant. Food was lovely! Then for the weekend we went out to Undara lava tubes. Oh and MIML™ spoilt me with a new iPod and a Time Capsule!

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Not sure. It has been a challenging year overall, but has had some bright spots. Probably finishing my thesis and finding a better paying job. But there is still 2009!

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

Black and White. Or old!

33. What kept you sane?

MIML™ and the gym.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Orlando Bloom…

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

US election was exciting. Climate change still worries me a lot, as does IR law. And let’s not mention the stoopid clean feed/filtering nonsense!

36. Who did you miss?

Friends who live too far away…

37. Who was the best new person you met?

MIML™ and a range of people I have met through him.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.

I am the only one who can make myself happy. Live for the moment and let the future take care of itself. But perhaps keep some things a little future focussed!

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you’re chewing on life’s gristle
Don’t grumble, give a whistle
And this’ll help things turn out for the best…

And…always look on the bright side of life…
Always look on the light side of life…

If life seems jolly rotten
There’s something you’ve forgotten
And that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you’re feeling in the dumps
Don’t be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle – that’s the thing.

And…always look on the bright side of life…
Always look on the light side of life…

For life is quite absurd
And death’s the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin – give the audience a grin
Enjoy it – it’s your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life’s a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life’s a laugh and death’s a joke, it’s true.
You’ll see it’s all a show
Keep ‘em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life…
Always look on the right side of life…
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life…
Always look on the bright side of life…
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life…
(I mean – what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing – you’re going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life…

Here’s to a great 2009…

I suspect I am not the only retail worker who is ambivalent towards Christmas. Sometimes I joke that work is the grinch who steals Christmas. Decorations came down last week and this evening as I left there was no indication that Christmas had indeed been at all. I suspect that putting decorations up in October might have something to do with that.

Tiredness abounds at work with lots of overtime and tetchy customers. I do enjoy retail at times. Helping people spend their money, buy things they genuinely need/want. But this is often not the case at Christmas. People feel compelled to buy for others and often have no idea what to get. So many women apparently want hair dryers or straighteners and vacuums. Guys want cameras and it seems like everyone wants GPS thingys and digital photo frames. Oh and wii consoles. Lots of kids are getting Nintendo products, either DS or wii, and the rest Guitar Hero World Tour.

But still people have left things to the last minute and this week I have had my share of people whose Christmases have been ‘ruined’ because no one in town has wii’s or Guitar Heros. Yet they haven’t shopped until a few days before Christmas.
I layby-ed the kids toys in July and bought stuff for others since about October. Working until midnight last night I had someone starting their Christmas shopping with teenage daughter in tow at 11.15pm. They were proud of the fact.

I’m cooking Christmas dinner and looking forward to that. Cooking helps me relax. I prepared a lot the other day and it will be pretty cruisy in the kitchen in the morning. The kids should be pretty happy about their presents. And who knows I may even get in the spirit.

MIML™ told me I am getting a new mega Hard Drive for Matilda the MacBook, but also told Miss 10 that I think I know what I am getting but have no idea! Hmmm…

So amidst the retail worker exhaustion, I am trying to get in the spirit. Here’s hoping anyway!

Remember The Omnivore’s 100? Well here is the festive version! Again from Very Good Taste. Yes, they haz it!

Here’s what to do:

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve tasted.
3) Place an asterisk after all the items you’ve cooked/prepared.
4) Optional: Cross out anything you never want to try, or add an exclamation mark after anything your really want to try.
You’re also welcome to post a link to your version of the list here at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk.

The VGT Christmas Fifty

1. Crystallised or candied fruits
2. Egg nog
3. Bûche de Noël, or Yule log*
4. Rum balls*
5. Bebinca
6. Roasted chestnuts*
7. Cavallucci
8. Tourtière
9. Uszka
10. Port & Stilton
11. Hallaca
12. Roast goose
13. Lefse
14. Sugar plums
15. Romeritos
16. Pinnekjøtt
17. Hot toddy*
18. Christmas cake*
19. Tamales
20. Sorpotel
21. Panettone
22. Candy canes
23. Pasteles
24. Speculaas
25. Makowiec
26. Christmas pudding*
27. Stollen
28. Figgy pudding
29. Lebkuchen
30. Turrón
31. Mince pies*
32. Wassail bowls
33. Buñuelos
34. Pio Quinto
35. Marzipan fruits
36. Mulled wine*
37. King cake
38. Christmas beach barbecue (no!- and I don’t know if I ever will as it is too hot!)
39. Cola de mono
40. Lutefisk
41. Kutia
42. Pizzelle
43. Dominostein
44. Cranberry sauce*
45. Pfeffernüsse
46. Satsumas or clementines
47. Pumpkin pie
48. Smalahove
49. Nut roast
50. Brandy butter*

Giving me a score of… drum roll… 28… Seems I have some eating to do!

In years gone by I would send over 100 Christmas Cards with a newsletter inside. And I would get about that number of Christmas Cards back. It has been a few years since I have sent any cards so it surprises me that I still get some cards!

In the spirit of environmental friendliness, or sheer laziness, or lack of funds or something, I have decided to resurrect Fifi’s Epistle (aka The Corker Epistle, Meningie Epistle, Adelaide Epistle, Cairns Epistle or Christmas Ramblings) and just post here. If you find it and used to get a card from us, Merry Christmas/Festive Season/Solstice/End of Year/Start of New Year etc. If you still want a card from us, please get a blank one and write it yourself: To Dear XYZ, With every best wish for the Festive Season and 2009. From Fifi, Immy, Japs, the fish, rat etc! If you want you can even seal it and address it to yourself and post it. But on with the epistle…

2008 has been an interesting year. A year of adjustments, a year of change and a year of discovery. And a leap year of course!

No doubt I could chronicle month by month, or family member by family member, and even though I am not trying to fit this on one A4 sheet (remember those awesome cards I used to make that had purdy pictures on the outside and folded out to the letter?) I also know what a bore it is reading about everyone’s dental appointments, workmates and road trips. So I will bullet point it…

• Er… where to start. This can be the token starting point that doesn’t say much but leads to much more!
• The kids spent a bit of time in Melbourne this year. We all went down in January for a couple of weeks and I spent a week in September. Went to the AFL Grand Final and even though the result could have been infinitely better, the spectacle of being at the MCG on that one day in September was still pretty amazing. The kids are heading to Melbourne in January for a few weeks but I’m working.
• Ah work… The joys of retail. At times it has its good points, but dealing with stoopid people can get draining. And then there are the customers… I love working at Myer most of the time. Most being more than 50%. After spending time behind the scenes at the start of the year, it has been great being back in the electrical department. This Christmas has really shown me that I do need to finish my thesis…
• Yes the thesis deserves its own dot point. This will be completed in 2009. I want to and I need to. The plan is then to do some supply teaching and see if teaching is what I still want to do.
• The kids have had great years at school. Imogen in particular has thrown herself into studies and has had excellent results. Jasper has also had pleasing results and has improved dramatically as the year has gone on. Both kids are smart cookies. Imogen enters Middle School next year and Jasper is out of Junior Primary. No more Easter Hats or Christmas Pageants!
• Imogen has also had lots of fun with her dancing. She was awarded a trophy for her tap dancing in the November concert.
• Jasper played AFL again this year and had fun! He may never be a Gary Ablett, but he made his team mates laugh and smile each week with his antics!
• I had my tonsils out in April which is an experience I would not wish on my worst enemy. Nuff said!
• Oh and I met a really nice man around that time too- refered to as MIML™ (man in my life.) He rocks! We are taking things slowly and seeing where they lead.
• MIML™ and I spent an awesome week in Canberra in July- it is most definitely a place where we could live. Apart from that we have been to Townsville where he had to sit an exam and have a special weekend planned for January, but he doesn’t really know about that yet!
• MIML™ had 2 rats that came to stay here when he had an inspection on his unit. They liked it here so much that they stayed! Sadly Pikelet developed a tumour and they tried to operate last week, but it had caused too much damage and she died. Daisy is a little lonely and will probably be getting a new playmate soon.
• We have also had a run of goldfish- Gin and Tonic, but Gin died so we got Vodka, who also died along with Tonic. So we got Kin and Gyo (or something- Japanese for Gold Fish and it is too late for me to be looking up the correct spelling). These fish lasted a couple of months then died! So we got 2 fish who remained nameless because we could not decide on suitable names. I think at one stage they were called Tea and Coffee, but they only survived a few weeks. Troughout this time we have had snails as well- Jean-Claude and Mimi lasted a long time before they also croaked it. Now we have 6 snails- no names as such except they are often referred to as Garlic and Parsley. Oh and the latest fish are Mary and Joseph, but one died this morning- we assume Joseph as Mary didn’t die or something. So when the other one does die (It seems to be inevitable with us!) we will get George and Mildred and then Bubble and Squeak I think, unless the kids change the names again! Unfortunately m0st of my names get turned down- at least we go through a few and get to exercise naming rights on a regular basis.
• Most other stuff has been chronicled in this blog. It has actually kept me saner than I otherwise might have been.

I suppose the other reason for cards and letters at this time of year is to wish people a Happy Christmas or something. Not sure what Christmas means to me anymore, but I am using it as a time to show people that I care about them and wish them well. Mum and Peter will be here Christmas Day (We will actually have 12 days of Mum, but only 3 of Peter!) and I will cook lunch. They do give us Christmas Day off, but I will be working all around it! The kids will go to their Dad’s on Christmas Day afternoon.

Not sure what I want for Christmas. Someone close to me suggested inner peace. That is something I am working towards. It won’t happen overnight as they say…

Whatever you are celebrating may you celebrate well. And may 2009 be kind to you.

This is a post for me to remind myself in a few years how tough things are. I don’t ever want to become a middle income earner who looks at the tough times with rose coloured glasses.

On Thursday I will receive my $2k Economic Security Strategy Payment. It is the same week as my pay and for a few more days than usual my bank balance will be in 4 figures. Unfortunately this won’t be for long. I would love to spend my ESSP on a new TV (seriously though CRT TVs will one day be retro, won’t they?) or a new computer, or a motorbike, or a trip to Disneyland with the kids, but the reality is if I wasn’t getting this payment we probably wouldn’t have any Christmas presents, or electricity connected to have fairy lights on our Christmas Tree, or 2 nights at the Cairns Coconut Resort next week.

So now the kids will have some presents. I will get my hair cut (if I remember to make a booking) and a few more bills will be paid, some even on time.

Next February I lose my pension. Mr 7 becomes Mr 8 and apparently then I am magically able to find a better paying job. Sometime next year I will finish my studies and will try and get teacher registration. Then I will try for supply work- almost $60/hour, but there is only 40 weeks of work available per year, and in reality 25 hours teaching per week. It is more than three times what I am earning now. Heck, if that isn’t reason enough for me to finish this bloody thesis, then I don’t know what is.

You know that ironing basket, the one that you keep adding to and putting off doing because it is going to take you all weekend? And when you get into it in front of the telly on Monday night it only takes an hour? Well I am not going to write a thesis in an hour, but I am going to plod away paragraph by paragraph and it will be finished.

I spoke to my counsellor this week at length about my thesis. I talked about what is holding me back and what can help move forward. Last week was a good start and the property settlement will be over with in the new year. Now I can say, so will my thesis. I won’t graduate until 2010- 10 years after I started the degree. I started it as a way of moving forward. I had a baby at home and a marriage that had severe cracks in it. It has taken a lot to get there and my life has changed dramatically, but it is also the start of new things.

Oh and back to the original premise of this post- I can well imagine people on 6 figure salaries struggling to make ends meet and yes, I spend my money in weird ways at times, but it is a choice I make and a choice everyone makes. No doubt in a few years I will complain at how little money I have, yet I will be earning much more. Hopefully I will have cleared my debts and I will be saving to get that TV and take the kids to Disneyland, or at least MIML™ and I on a cruise!

I am grateful that I receive more in Centrelink payments each fortnight than I pay in tax. I too look forward to the day where I don’t and someone else in my current position does, although in reality it is not a situation I wish on anyone.

Far be it from me to be one of those mothers who boasts about how wonderful their children are (when you all already know how absolutely fan-fairy-tastic they are!) but here is Miss Imogen with the trophy she received on Saturday for the Most Outstanding Performance in her Tap Dancing performance at her dance concert in November.

Yes, she is 733t wonderful and amazing and all that. Oh and I am very proud

It has dawned on me recently that I am full of anger. I know I always have been, and I thought that in recent years I was doing a good job of hiding it.

I’m not the only person engulfed by anger. I suspect lots of people are for many different reasons. The thing about anger though is managing it.

I have always been overwhelmed by a desire for justice and equality. I suspect that recently I have discovered this isn’t always realistic. It is a goal, but when it doesn’t happen it doesn’t make me any more or less right than anyone else.

Yesterday, whilst doing the motorbike thing again (I passed with flying colours this time!) a driver overtook me. I was sitting on 80 in an 80 zone. I had 3 other riders in front of me and 2 behind. This driver didn’t like the big Ls on our backs. I screamed some choice words at him as he zoomed past, but realised that it was better off with him in front of me and I couldn’t worry about the other riders in front of me- they had to deal with this jerk themselves.

My kids are full of anger too. Mr 7 tries to relieve his by playing Play Station games- but this often works him up even more. Miss 10 is having a harder time of it. She kinda knows, but she is getting a punching bag for Christmas. I know myself being physical is one of the best ways I have of getting my anger out.

But it gets me down. I want the world to be perfect, but it never will be. Neither will my kids or myself. I just hope that by me trying to work through my anger and trying to teach my kids to work through theirs they will be less screwed up by anger than I am/have been/was/possibly will be. I need to work on me though- be the change you want to see in the world.

I am not going to hide my anger, except when it is necessary or appropriate. I may vent here. I may even subject my family to my anger and tell them why I am angry. I need to stop avoiding confrontation (when appropriate) and deal with things. I need to and I want to.

I have participated in a few Secret Santa’s in my time, but none have been memorable. Well except for Year 5 where the present I took in was a lipgloss and someone spread that it was a packet of lifesavers and the teacher had to pull me aside and ask me! Can’t remember what I got, but rather what I gave!

Last night MIML™ and I met up with Karen and Ajay (aka funkycoda) as a kind of Cairns Twitter meetup (aka HOTTUB!) as Ajay is in town. I chose one of my favourite haunts- Mondo Café Bar and Grill at the Hilton Hotel. There is usually a breeze there and you can look over the inlet and it is purdy! And the food is excellent! I have been to Mondo’s for work farewells, school mum dinners, lunches with visiting family members from overseas and lunches and with the kids and my Mum. Oh and with MIML™! It has never failed- one of those old reliables that you know will be a hit.

No exception last night! There was a duo playing live music and they were brilliant! Must remember to go back on a Friday night and hopfully catch them again, or find out who they are in case I ever need a band! There were a few groups there, including the one sitting next to us.

They were having their staff Christmas Party. Apparently not all companies and organisations are as miserly as the company I work for. Anyway- at one stage the leader of the group (I assume he was the boss) got up and donned a Santa wig, beard and hat. And produced a sack! It was Secret Santa time. One guy seemed quite pleased with the miniature spirit bottles he received, the pregnant member got a baby book, one person really cracked up when she got a muffin tray and box of muffin mix (hint?) and another when she received something in a bag that she wouldn’t bring out. But the hightlight was the boss. He received a mankini. There may have been a story behind this, but, as Ajay tweeted, much hiarity ensued! Off came the Santa costume and on went the mankini- over his clothes (thank Ceiling Cat!)

I remember my ex brother-in-law being horrified at receiving an, er, adult novelty item in his Secret Santa one year (those Navy guys!) and not being able to find out who it was from.

The kids did Secret Santa at school- Immy got some nail polish and Jasper some whacky colouring pens or something (or is that what he gave- I forget!)

I don’t have to buy a Secret Santa this year, but I do have in mind some things I could get for my colleagues… One of them told me during the week that they would love to give some massage slippers to someone, with a message that they must be used on wet feet. Mwahahahahaha!

I thought, hey, there might just be some readers out there who have no idea what to buy, usually with a $10 limit, for that special colleague, the one you rather would give a bottle of Giardia laced water to but need to find soemthing more specific…

For girls, nothing says ‘I have no idea what to buy you’ more than bath salts or napery. Heck- a friend gave me bath salts for Christmas last year knowing I don’t have a bath… Napery- yes tea towels. I have received a few tea towels in my time too- no I did not buy all those tea towels MIML™! Another option for girls is to go the novelty item, you know the chocolate willies, or fluffy handcuffs. Make sure you either know the recipient really well and that they will take it as a joke, or it really is a secret santa (and like the BILs novelty item) no one will ever find out it came from you.

Guys can be more tricky, or easier, depending on your point of view. I mean, let’s go stereotype. bar ware. I actually don’t know many people with a bar, but bar ware is very popular. Again novelty is very prevalent. I am sure The Drunken Goat specialises in Secret Santa presents. Heck- I just looked and they sell Mankinis. If not bar ware, then most blokes receive booze. $10 worth of beer (4 bottles of Aussie Beer or 2 of Imported I think!) or a combination- stubby holder with a stubby.

This year, I am calling for everyone to step away from the stereotypes. Or at least reverse them. Give the macho bloke bath salts and a lip gloss. Give the prissy girl the stubby holder (bonus points if it is tacky and suggestive). Or be sensible and do the movie voucher or coffee and cake voucher from the nice coffee shop in town.

The last Secret Santa I participated in was when I worked for Weight Watchers. I received two Christmas Baubles (which from memory I hung from my ears as earrings). As much as I liked the baubles, I think I would have preferred cake!

I suppose it is the thought that counts. Or at least having the ability to make everyone laugh in the office. What Secret Santa’s have you received and/or given that have been memorable? Or are you more the bah humbug?

Bah humbug does have a lot going for it after all…

The tough go shopping! Or something!

I was granted a divorce- have to wait a month for it to be absolute. The hearing took a little longer than usual, but the Registrar was happy to grant the divorce and wished me well for the future.

Had to work this afternoon, but I went shopping first and bought this:

New beginnings and all.

Thanks to all my friends for their wonderful support. Onwards and upwards!

That’s me, a little over 16 years ago. I was young. I was naïve. I have had that photo face down for ages now, but turned it up when putting up the Christmas Tree. Then turned it back again.

On Wednesday, that chapter of my life closes. I go to court where I hope to be granted a Decree Nisi that in a month will become a Decree Absolute. Divorce. The closing of a chapter. Whilst it is the end of a chapter, the book goes on. Soon there will be the property settlement. There will always be the kids.

I tried damned hard to make my marriage work. For over half of it there were severe cracks. I was a different person then.

And now I move on. It is wonderful having MIML™. I don’t know where this relationship will go. I don’t think he does. I don’t think anyone does. I don’t know if I believe in marriage- I think I do, but I am wary. Who knows how I’ll be down the track.

I am so grateful for the MIML™ chapter in my life. I hope it is a long chapter that never ends. We are a great team and he puts up with my neuroticism! Not rushing anything. Seeing where this chapter leads. Enjoying the present.

I am not the same person I was 16 years ago, 11 years ago, 8 years ago, 3 years ago, 2 years ago or even 11 months ago. I am forever evolving. The path may be rocky at times, but it carries on. No dead ends. Even along the darkest path one may find the most beautiful flowers. Thank-you MIML™.