I have been a member of Amnesty International for over half my life. Whilst I have not been as active in recent years, I still follow their campaigns and am inspired by the work that is achieved.
If I have followed instructions correctly, there is a script that I have added to my blog for today that simulates how it might be seen by readers in China.
I have signed this pledge:
and urge all readers to do likewise.
To paraphrase old Bill: That which we call a Corker by any other name would smell as sweet.
When I married I changed my surname. It wasn’t something I really thought about, I just did it! It gave a sense of connection- a family unit as we shared a family name. In the course of moving around I met people who married and hyphenated their names- husband and wife. I also met people who did not change their name when they married. When a close friend of mine saw her parents divorce, her sister hyphenated her surname with the surnames of her parents. She has kept this name after marriage.
Now after separation I have chosen to revert to my maiden name- or my Dad’s name. It is the name I grew up with. Changing ones name is a challenge. I have needed my birth certificate, and sometimes marriage certificate and have changed it at around 20 places. At one place, a lady told me she married last year and had to change her name at 72 different places. 72! Great! I suppose when one considers all those loyalty cards one collects then yes, it does add up.
Some places are easier than others. Medicare and Centrelink took a photocopy of my birth certificate and it changed straight away, with new cards issued within the week. Work was one of the first places I changed it at and they just changed it without any questions. Then I got a letter from my superanuation company asking for a Decrees Nisi or Certificate of Divorce. I just ignored this and thought I would deal with superannuation later. Then I went to the Queensland Transport. Sigh! They will not change my name until I am divorced. DFAT (The passport office!) was kinda easier- well if I don’t mind paying another $240! Yes, I can either apply for a new passport and forfeit all that is left (over 5 years!) or wait for a divorce to come through and if I apply to change it within twelve months, with new photos, it will be done gratis.
So I am waiting for a divorce to come through. This will give me yet another certificate and will ensure that my name can be changed officially in more places.
But what is in a name? One of the constant things I am told now that I have reverted to my maiden name is that I now have a different surname to my kids. My usual response is that when I married I spent 15 years with a surname different to my mother and we coped! The kids’ school has been great on the whole. My kids are not the only kids in the school who have different surnames to their parents. Even the teacher aide from when the kids were in Prep has stopped calling me Mrs Corker after 5 years of me telling her my name is Fiona!
My inner feminist tells me that a woman should not be forced to change her name upon marriage. Saying that a woman takes the name of her father before taking the name of her husband is just pure wrong! Women are not property to be passed from father to husband and I doubt many people would see this.
A sense of family unity though is created by a common family name. Therein lies the connundrum. You can choose to be linked to the past through the family name you received at birth or the future through the family name your children are given at birth. Perhaps that is the choice to make? At least as women of 21st Century Australia we have that choice and we should be grateful.
What I am experiencing is actually a legal issue- the right to choose my name. If I am still married to someone then I don’t have that right (unless I go through a formal name change process) in certain instances. This is the inequality that something needs to be done about. If I can go into Medicare and change my name without the need for a divorce, then I should be able to get a drivers licence and my own superanuation funds changed too.
I preferred to be called Fiona. It is the name my parents chose for me at my birth. It means more to me than a family name and it is the name that most people call me by. Seldom am I called Ms Henderson or Mrs Corker. My GP calls me Princess Fiona and I have been known to don ogre ears… I am known as Fi, Fifi, Fifikins, Fozzy and Mum or Mummy. What is important is that I know who I am and who I am not. I’m me whether you like it or not!
One of the things I have loved about ‘the internet’ is the way I have met so many friends.
I started online almost 11 years ago. I was pregnant with Imogen after over 5 years battling infertility. I was also scared, apprehensive and although 4 close girlfriends were pregnant at the same time, I felt very alone as their experiences were different to mine. So one of the first things I did was join a mailing list for women going through pregnancy after infertility- Panfert. The Panfert ladies helped me get through the pregnancy and then we shared early parenthood and subsequent pregnancies. A few years later, Panfert was disbanded so we set up an ‘egroup’ called IFBabies which is still going strong today. These ladies are some of my best friends, even though most of them are in the US.
Even though I had Panfert, I also looked for information about PCOS and was one of the founding members of POSAA which also started out as an email group. We divided the mailing lists early on and set up a PCOS babies list. It was here I met some of my best friends. 11 of us ’separated’ and formed what we called the Supermums. The Supermums met up in October 2002 (with some kids and partners) for a weekend at Coogee Beach in Sydney. We shared food, wine, stories and so many laughs. Some of these ladies are my closest friends now and we chat regularly on the phone, through IM and SMS.
Then there are people I have met through online social networks like Twitter and Plurk. Some of these people I have met socially too- we have shared gins, beers and food. We have laughed together through our computers and also in the same physical space.
Some of these people though I have never met, but I still care about what goes on in their lives. I send messages when they are down, I share in celebrations and they care about me. When I had my tonsils out I received some gorgeous flowers from people I know through Twitter and so many messages. For my birthday I had lots of messages from old friends, but many many more on Twitter, Plurk and Facebook.
I have come to the realisation that in this digital age there is no difference to ‘real life’ friends and ‘online’ friends. A friend is a friend. Some of my friends don’t understand my online life, but my online life is part of me and what I do. I have friends who are into all sorts of activities that I don’t understand but it doesn’t make them any less of a friend. Perhaps Collingwood supporters excluded!
Creating a binary of ‘real life’ as oposed to ‘online’ friends means that one group is held in higher regard than the other. My online friends are my friends in real life as I am living a real life. No more distinctions from me! What about you?
In my bloggest loser post I mentioned I was joining a gym. Well I have! And oh the pain and stiffness. Just goes to show how out of shape I am. Well round is a shape, I know, but, well, you get my drift.
So 30 minutes, 3 times a week, one of these times with Alex the PT might see me able to do this with MIML™…
OK, so not in the next few weeks, but in a year…
If you are reading this then, it probably doesn’t apply to you! I noticed my RSS was not really working and assumed I must have borked it when I upgraded my WP. So I have created a new feedburner. Means all my old subscribers need to discover this. Of course I just hope they think to come visit and not rely on their feeds… But perhaps that is asking too much. O well. Whatever! I’m still here ranting and raving and finding weird stuff!
Edit: Just changed some feedburner settings on the old thingamajig and it seems to be working again! Who knows! Think I have two feedburner thingies now. And I am confused! Blonde Mac users of the world unite!
Holy Snapping Duck Do! I just had a cup of tea and realised I have not updated this since petrol was cheaper than a bottle of Grange!… You would not believe how much more of a drama I could make that. Stupid Global Warming!.
I am flat out like a lizard drinking with setting fire to people wearing Crocs, learning to fart the theme to neighbours, just generally being a worry to the secret service, my day sprawls from the light through yonder window breaks to whenever. I am not complaining though. deal with it.
I will try to remember I promised you to send a missive out on the wire, post-haste. No, really! Assuming I don’t get distracted by counting my chest hairs…
This was created by The Lazy Bloggers Post Generator. Pretty cool huh?
MIML™ and I are spending a week in Canberra. Whilst the main point for the trip was for MIML™ to submit his new passport forms at the High Commission (something that took a whole 15 minutes!), it has also been a chance for us to get away together and do things one can’t do in Cairns.
Now don’t get me wrong. I love Cairns. I love the rainforrest, I actually like the climate, but I also miss things. Yes there are material things like Krispy Kreme donuts, T2, Nandos, Oporto and Borders, but there are also other differences. We are having a week of Winter. It was a shock driving from the airport seeing trees with no leaves on them and it is wonderful in the mornings and evenings breathing ’smoke’ (condensation or CO2 or something!). Spending an evening in front of an open fireplace may have to wait as we are yet to find anywhere that has one, but still, we can dream!
One of the main things though is the culture of the place. We have visited the National Gallery, Parliament House and the National Museum and plan on going to the War Memorial before heading home and the vastness of the culture is amazing. The National Gallery was almost cultural overload seeing famous artworks and lesser known works from around the world.
Last night though was the big clincher. We dined at Ardeche, a French restaurant here in town. Interestingly MIML™ and I had exactly the same starter and main- escargot for the starter and white rabbit for the main. It was at the first mouthful of the main when the looks on our faces must have told a story of delight and amazement. This was not something one tastes in Cairns!
MIML™ writes things down in order to try and make sense of the experience and the meal prompted this from him:
Rabbit
restaurant Ardeche,
gastronomic velvet oasis
in winter desert.17/07/08
I call it poetry, but that is something we differ about! He is teh smartz!
I have upgraded my WordPress to the latest version. There is no real reason for me doing this except that I don’t like the constant reminder that I haven’t done it!
The easiest instructions are here and it really is a piece of cake to upgrade. I suppose the simple blonde mac user version would go like this:
I know, it couldn’t be easier. Now I am told I can make it so it updates automatically… To find the idiots guide to that… Hmmm…
Fiona | 
07 30th, 2008| 
