Motherhood
We never ‘did’ Mother’s Day as a child. My father’s line was ‘Every day is Mother’s Day.’ We never did Father’s Day either.
For the 5 years I spent battling infertility I avoided Mother’s Day like the plague. Told myself it was over commercial.
Then I became a mother. My mum sent me flowers the first year and has most years since. When the kids started school they were given money (usually by me!) for the Mother’s Day Stall and I have received some beautiful things over the years. Today is no exception- a smelly tea light candle in a mirror backed holder with flowers on it and a teddy holding a heart upside down. I got a text from my Mum who is overseas. Immy made Banana Buttermilk pancakes for lunch (Japs had footy at 8.30 so breakfast was out of the question!) and the kids perhaps argued less.
I am back in electrical at work and have had lots of people in buyng gifts for mum. If I am ever given an epilator or an iron for Mother’s Day I think I will hit you over the head with the said item. Yes, it is commercial, but it is nice to be remembered as a mum. Isildae summed it up well. I have been so well supported by the ‘motherhood network’ for the last 11 Mother’s Days.
But still, part of me is sad on Mother’s Day. Sad for those yearning to be mothers or fathers or grandparents even. Infertility sucks big time. Commercialising days and putting motherhood on a pedestal is hard to cope with when it is something you are trying to achieve.
So to Imogen and Jasper, I love you so much and am glad you have made me a mother. I know I am trying and at times am a crap mother. I think Jasper summed it up well this evening: “Mummy, I know you love me even when you yell at me.” Out of the mouths of babes!
Tags: Infertility, mother's day, motherhood, personal reflection, Stuff
